I’m right! You’re wrong!
Ooooo, it feels so good to be right!! Doesn’t it? Being right is brain happy food. “He is soooooo wrong!” I say, outraged (but somehow gleeful). When I’m right, I feel safe, secure, and wonderful. “I’ve got this.” Control maintained. Oh happy day!
And then my dad says, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to have a relationship?”
My dad: the yogi that has never practiced yoga.
See, according to yoga philosophy, there is no such thing as right/ wrong, at least not if we can step back and take in the big picture. We humans just get confused because our brains love to make comparisons. If I’m good, you’re bad. If I’m dark, you’re light. Tall/ short, thin/ fat…nothing in the world exists except through comparison. We love this duality; it’s how we make meaning. But to often we forget that duality is just a mind tool; it’s not what’s really happening.
According to Tantra, the Universe is Consciousness unfolding itself, simply for the joy and play (lila) of the experience. You are consciousness regarding itself (yourself), and regarding others as well. Your perspective or viewpoint (darsana) is uniquely yours, a special experience of consciousness knowing itself in a particular way. Verily, we are the universe in self-reflection.
Because we are all part of this self-reflection, everyone is an essential and holy component of this grand unfolding. From this higher perspective, we can see that every viewpoint has value, because it is. It is, therefore it is good. “Right” becomes a limited and egoic tantrum of self-assertion, a needing to prove that our own viewpoint is okay. But when we trust that our own perspective is intrinsically of value, the need to be right becomes obsolete.
Instead of right/wronging each other, we can become curious about someone else’s perspective. What have they experienced that it outside the marvelous sum total of your experiences that would cause them to think so differently? How marvelous! How eye-opening! How curious!
So no to right/ wrong. Let’s soften up our hard edges. Out of curiosity – rather than judgment – true compassion and learning are born.
6 Comments
This is such a wise post, Rachel! You completely hit the nail on the head when you say that being “right” shouldn’t have to come with the egotistical notions about ourselves, but unfortunately it always does. It’s especially easy to argue who is “right” and who is “wrong” in such a polarized climate where people have more extreme views about many things, and are unwilling to back down on their opinions (I am guilty of this as well!). Next time I want to tell someone, “You’re WRONG”, I’ll definitely think back to how all viewpoints are valid in their own right, and no one is inherently “right” or “wrong”. Thanks for sharing! <3
I know…as soon as I get the juicy, “I’m so right” feeling, it’s time to check myself! LOL We all do it…I tell myself that knowing is half the battle!!
So inspiring…
What an eye-opening post Rachel. Seeing other people’s perspectives will give us a clear understanding of where they are coming from with their logic and their view of things. But, how many people will see this as it is to be seen? That right/wronging each other is unnecessary? I just hope that we all open our eyes to that.
Are you a lover of yoga? What is it that you look for in your yoga products? What would you want in them that may be missing? Kindly share your input at http://www.yogaproductsurvey.com
Hi Michael thanks for reading! I’ll include your survey here in your comment in case readers want to participate 🙂
actually this happen when you going do something in thought or imagination.
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