Swedish death cleaning:
döstädning: cleaning and de-cluttering before you die
My friend was moving across the country. In preparation for her move, she was sorting her possession into two piles: what would be moved, and what would be sacrificed to the Salvation Army gods. She sighed and blew her hair out of her face as she placed an armful of clothing into the Sally Ann pile, “I am embracing the Swedish death clean,” she declared.
“Pardon, the what?”
“The Swedish death clean,” she said, “it’s when you declutter your life before you die so your heirs don’t have to deal with your crap. But, you know, I am going to embrace it now. I want to get ride of it all!” She looked at her piles, then moved a pair of jeans back in her “keep” box. “Well…most of it.”
Generally speaking, we humans don’t deal well with change. We don’t like letting go. Whether we’re giving up the teddy bear from fourth grade (“I can’t possibly throw Mr. Fuzzy out!”), moving cities, changing jobs, or ending a relationship, we hate the idea of dissolution.
“Death is hard, even for the wise.” – The Yoga Sutra
When I moved from New York City to Vancouver, I was completely disoriented. All the pillars that I had used to identify myself (“I’m an actor,” “I’m a New Yorker,” “I’m an American,”) were gone. Those anchors had made me feel safe, grounded, and relevant, dammit. Rather than realizing that I was still “me” (no matter where I was or what I was doing), I kept scrambling to try to fix my problem and find something else to hold onto.
The external stuff that we cling to (whether it’s a physical object or a mental idea about who we are) feels very comforting, but it also keeps us stuck in an idea about who we are “supposed” to be.
- “I’m a doctor.”
- “I’m a mom.”
- “I’m a yoga teacher.”
Even worse, you may get stuck in someone else’s idea of who you are supposed be. Uh-oh. And – newsflash – the nature of the world is to change. Trying to keep the external world from changing is a recipe for suffering.
Ignorance is mistaking the impermanent for the permanent. – The Yoga Sutra
Ironically – scrambling to “stay safe” will also keep you from realizing that you are already okay.
It’s like rock climbing. Imagine for a moment that you’re halfway up the rock face and fighting hard to hold onto your climbing rope. You’re terrified of falling and you’re starting to slip. And yet when you are forced to let go, you discover that you were strapped in a safety harness the whole time. Ta-da! But until you dared release your grip, you couldn’t see that everything was fine.
When we let go of our external labels, we discover that we are already whole, safe, and free.
Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found. – Pema Chodron
Here’s the invitation: Swedish death clean your life.
Do a literal Swedish death clean, and get rid of that box of comics from the 80’s or collection of teaspoons from childhood. Or you could death clean your habits or relationships. Challenge your comfortable routines.
Shake up your firm and steady ground. Enjoy the free fall. And let your true nature arise.
