Garbage Pail expectations

I like to plan.

I’m a great planner, a presidential planner. I have an app called Omnifocus that agendifies every area of my life. Until recently, reminders in this apps included things like, “Call Mom,” or “Phone out of town friend,” lest I forgot to feel my beating heart while navigating my labyrinthine to-do list.

Planning makes me feel safe. Bestows the illusion of control. And gives birth to little babies called Expectations.

Like little Cabbage Patch Kids, these expectations pop into existence just after the planning starts. And they’re so darn cute. They run here and there, giggling, shaking their nicely braided yarn hair. But then all of a sudden, these little happy toddlers turn into pint-sized tyrants. They pout when the plan doesn’t go their way, throw tantrums when they’re disappointed. When thwarted, they stamp their feet, blubber uncontrollably, and glare in frustration.

My expectations, once sweet and full of possibility, have turned into the Garbage Pail Kids.

These Garbage Pail Kids recently threw a wrench in my romance. A golden beginning to the relationship had fostered warm feelings. Hopeful dreams ensued. Almost without realizing it, I grew a Plan like a scaffold beneath the shimmering surface of my ideas, and strapped my dream down onto its iron framework.  My plan was surely the right way. Diversions from the plan felt like betrayal, rejection. When my my partner finally threw up his hands in protestation, I was hurt, bewildered, and angry.

I confused my “Plan” with my “Vision.”

Life is a co-creation with the Universe.  While we control our own piece of it, the world out there is full of mystery and moving parts. We see this dance most clearly when we are co-creating with other people, like a partner.  When I am excited about to getting to my “goal,” I can put on blinders that prevent me from seeing anything except the road I’ve designed. I only see what I want, forgetting that other people are creating this wild big dream with me.

But by being so attached to my expectations, I miss the unexpected opportunities that are lying in my peripheral vision. Relationships can remind us that we are part of something bigger, help us to discern what is ours to own and what isn’t. They can help us look beyond our limited expectations, and take in some of the other points of view that make up the world. If we’re staring at the closed door, we may miss the fact that five windows have opened behind us.

The invitation: dream without being stuck to the plan. Raise our eyes from our expectations and see the great possibilities that are really there. Be surprised.

Because what if, just what if…this mysterious co-creation is could manifest a future that’s even better than the one that we’ve got in our heads?

Photo credit.

 

Growing up is a world of gray

What coffee has to do with constructivism

“Why don’t you make it the way I do?” he asks, as I pour the coffee grounds into the Bialetti coffee maker. I look at the coffee maker in consternation. I pour the grounds directly into the filter in the machine. He does it separately and then puts everything together.

“Because this is the way I do it,” I say.

“But then the grounds get all over the counter, and…” he stops himself.

“…Do you want to make the coffee?” I prompt.

He shakes his head and backs off, “Um, no. No, definitely not. Do it your way. We’ll just…clean the counter after.”

I throw a handy tee-towel at him.

Oh, how we want to believe the world is Newtonian! Push it and it moves, pull it and it comes. Gravity is fixed, mass is fixed. An object put into motion stays in motion. Reality is Absolute. Truth exists.

This comforting set of assumptions makes it easy for our anxious little mind to find solid ground. If I know what’s “right,” then I can play by the rules. If there is an absolute Truth, then I can be right and you can be wrong. Blame can be assigned. We rest easy in the rigid arms of justice.

Yet as humanity probes with relentless curiosity into the mysteries of the world, our desire to fix the world into yes/no is thwarted by the mysterious complexity and subjectivity of the Universe. Our poor little brains are on fire with the revelation that time, space, and mass aren’t fixed. Truth depends on perspective. There is no absolute Reality. Rather, Reality is a compendium of the stupendous array of subjective experiences that exist relative to any one point of space/time.

In other words, friends, sh*t gets complicated.

Not only do we see this evolution of thought playing out in physics, naturally the reverberations have cropped up in education and psychology.  For example, in my field of study, no longer are teachers fixated on a “one size fits all” version of teaching (this is the right way to learn them!), but there is an increasing passion for constructivism as a learning psychology, where learning is “constructed” individually by the learner. In other words, each learner is different and assimilates information based on their unique history, interest, and emotions.

Consider this riddle.

What is a hat?

There is no one absolute hat. We have a general idea of hat, with different qualities that we may identify based on our experience (it’s on my head, primarily). The hat that popped into my head is different than the hat the just popped into your head, determined by each of our experiences of “hat-ness” in the world. Think of this: tophat, tukes, riding hat, bowler, Stetson, cap, turban, Ascot, beret, pillbox. Each one of these “hat styles” is also a generalized idea. You could have a million kinds of tukes. Yet our mind puts together all these hat-like qualities and defines and labels the world according to the pattern. When is a hat not a hat? When it’s a balaclava? When it’s a headband? What about a really big headband? Labels are convenient, but they are relative, malleable, and subjective.

And if we have this much trouble with hats, just consider this one: what is love?

Our perception of the world is constructed based on all of our previous experiences, leaving each one of us with a remarkable and unique view of the world and its objects. Like a snowflake, no point of subjectivity is the same.

Growing up  – for humanity as well as for us as individuals – is accepting that the rules, protocols, and labels we so desperately wish to impose upon the world are limited in scope. They may be very useful, but we mustn’t mistake them for the Real Deal.

We are on the edge of revelation. We have been living in a world of right/wrong, yes/no, “hat/ not a hat” since the dawn of consciousness.  In our individual lives, it’s where we spend our toddlerhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. But growing up means expanding our view and recognizing the multiplicity of experience.

To move the collective experience of humanity forward, we must each do our intrinsic part to don our big girl and boy pants, take a breath, and embrace a wider version of Truth.

We begin with small, daily recognitions. Like coffee. So when I am in the kitchen making the morning coffee, and my beloved looks at me in confusion and says, “But why don’t you do it the way I do it?” we can pause. Reflect. And – without blame, defence, or righteousness – simply appreciate the difference. His way of making coffee is the perfect way for him. And my way is the perfect way for me. How lovely, how subjective, how revelatory!

And in fact, there are an infinite number of ways to brew that one extraordinary cup.

 

 

How to cue Ardha Chandrasana

“Stack your hips.”

Oh, friends, how many times have I heard this oh-so-convenient (and oh-so-terrible) cue?

The problem with cuing stack your hips in Ardha Chandrasana is that most students can’t actually do it. It’s like asking students to “square the hips” in Virabhadrasana II. You simply can’t square the hips (or stack the hips) in most human bodies unless you torque the standing knee.

Here’s another contender:

“Step into ardha chandrasana.”

Bam. Just step into it. Just like that, people. Imagine Arnold Schwarzenegger, “Just Do It. Noooooowwww!”  No other instruction. It’s too tricky to cue through students through the transition, so we just tell them to step into it.

Another one:

“Engage your legs.”

Yes, good idea, but the real question is how?

Now, don’t despair if you’ve been using these cues. Transitions are challenging to cue, which is why they are so often glossed over. And Ardha Chandrasana is one of the most challenging poses of all! But let’s break it down, and you can give your students some great supporting cues to help them through this trickster of a pose.

What’s supporting me?

Question number 1: what is supporting us in Ardha Chandrasana?

To answer this, first ask: what is at risk during the transition?

In AC, the prime culprit for misalignment is the standing leg knee, right? It drops in both during the transition and during the pose. The culprit? Not enough external rotation at the standing leg hip! Here’s the skinny:

  • the standing leg is externally rotating
  • external rotation keeps the knee tracking over the ankle
  • weak external rotation will cause the knee to drop inwards
  • therefore, strong external rotation will help the knee to track and stabilize the pose!

When we’re teaching AC, it behooves us to set up our students for success by teaching external rotation of the front leg in poses such as Warrior II, Triangle, and Side Angle. Pre-teaching this action will give them the body imprint to carry this stability forward into a more challenging transition like Ardha Chandrasana. And getting these external rotators firing up is so good for our bodies!

Stacking the hips, help!

What makes AC different than Warrior III? Well, once the front hip has it’s stability, then the pelvis opens towards the side of the mat. This action is different than squaring the hips. “Towards” implies “as much as your body allows. Since everyone’s range of motion is different, I like to say something like this,

“Keeping your front knee tracking over your ankle, now open your hips towards the side of your mat as much as you can.”

Putting the stabilizing cue first (“keeping your knee tracking”) means that they are thinking about alignment, and then the sneaky little word “towards” gives them permission to only go as far as their own personal range of motion.

Engage your legs

Good idea! But soooo vague! Can we be more specific?

Do you mean,

  • “pull your outer standing leg hip towards the back of your mat to engage your outer hip”

  • “lift your quads to straighten your legs”

  • “lift your hamstrings and quads evenly to hug the femur to the pelvis…”

When we find ourselves using a blanket cue such as “engage your legs” (or engage your core), it’s a good idea to reflect if we can be more specific. There’s certainly a time and place for general whole body cues, but let’s make sure that’s what we want.

Try it out, let me know how it goes!

Space. And Intimacy.

“Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise…” – James Kirk

Yogis, we’re going on a fantastic voyage. A voyage that reveals the importance of inner space…

A famous study entitled “From Jerusalem to Jericho” was conducted in the 1970’s to analyze the good Samaritan story from the Bible. Researchers sought to determine what factors impacted a desire to act like a good neighbor towards someone else: did someone’s current thoughts affect kindness? Did feeling rushed?

To test their hypotheses, they gathered a group of seminary students and tasked half of them to give a talk on the Good Samaritan story (ostensibly to generating thoughts about helping someone else) and the other half to give a talk about religion and the work place. They then had the students walk from one building to another. The students were further divided so that one group was given a “high hurry” motivation (ie: you’re late!), another group a “medium hurry motivation” (they’re waiting), and a final group a “low hurry” motivation (you’ve got some time to get there). En route, the students encountered a person (an actor) pretending to be in distress.  Then researchers tallied up who see if they could discern any patterns in who stopped to help.

Turns out that degree of religious thoughts had no bearing on whether or not people stopped. (People given the good samaritan story stopped no more frequently than the others.) However, those who felt leisurely stopped far more than those who felt rushed by a ration of 6:1.*

The moral of our story? Compassion requires space.

Daily living is compressive. How often do we feel rushed? We hunch over our desks, rush to get the kids to school, fight against the traffic, and armour up to not get hurt. We are beset by obligations from peers, family, bosses, even friends. Our lives move at cyber-speed, and we frantically race to catch up with emails, texts, and skypes.

It’s time to slow the clocks.

When we go to yoga, or walk in nature, or write in our journals, our soul spreads its folded wings and stretches to full breadth. Without self-nurturing space, we default to our survival impulses. Caught in flight or flight, we react impulsively and can even become blind to what’s right in front of us (some students actually had to literally step over the stricken victim in the scenario). But when we create space in our lives, we then have the room to act ethically, considerately, and gracefully.

How can you create space for yourself? Through the yoga practice? Through breath? Through journalling?

Create space this week just for you.

Because when we create space for ourselves – even when it’s just starts with an extra breath – the world receives a better version of who we are. And that’s worth an extra breath.

*Ironically, the errand that students were tasked with was to go to the next building in order to deliver an impromptu speech on the passage of the Good Samaritan. The full study is entitled, “From Jerusalem to Jericho: A study of situational and dispositional variables in helping behaviour.”

Gay marriage. The subway. And a 7-year old.

Or, education happens in the darnedest places.

A seven year old sidles up next to me on the N train to Astoria. I’ve got my laptop flipped open, working on an article for EME 6414, my Web 2.0 course. He sits quietly for awhile and watches.

“You type fast,” he observes.

I look over at him. He’s got freckles everywhere, and big, earnest blue eyes.

“I took a course,” I say. “I learned how to do it.” That’s me, always one to beat the drum of education into young minds.

“Oh,” he says. “So.” He looks at my article again. “You disagree with your dad?”

He’s been reading over my shoulder.

I pause. I wonder briefly if his guardian is going to mind this conversation. “Yes.”

He considers this. “You fight with your dad?”

I think for a moment. “Well, my dad and I think different things politically,” I say slowly. “It’s not really fighting, we just have different opinions.”

“Your Dad doesn’t like gay marriage?”

“No.” I smile, “He doesn’t.”

“But you do?”

“Yes. I do.”

He sighs and tilts his head. “…Do you think it’s okay to be gay?”

I glance over towards his guardian, who turns out to be a matronly looking woman sitting three seats down from me. She is listening to us, but doesn’t seem to mind where the conversation is going.

“Yes,” I say, “I think it’s okay to be gay.”

“Even girl and girl?” He sounds pensive.

“Yes.”

“I hear that there’s girl and girl, but I’ve only seen boy and boy stuff.”

“Yes, there’s girl and girl, too. There’s a whole world out there.”

“But you think it’s okay.”

“Yes, I do.” I feel I should explain a bit more, “I have lots of friends who are gay.”

He frowns. He needs specifics, “Girl and girl, or boy and boy.”

“Both,” I say.

He looks impressed by this. “But your Dad doesn’t like gay people?”

“Well,” I consider this, “my dad doesn’t believe in gay marriage. But he likes gay people. We even have gay family members. But he doesn’t think that gay marriage should be legal.”

“It’s not legal?”

“Being gay is legal,” I clarify, “but until recently, being married wasn’t. Until recently, gay people could only get married some states, but not in others. But now the supreme court decided it was okay for everyone to get married, in all states. Which gives gay people legal rights that they didn’t have before.”

“Like what?”

“Like taking care of someone in the hospital, or taking care of their kids.”

“Oh, right!” He says. “Kids. So,” his nose wrinkles in consternation, “Can you have two dads?”

“Yep. Two dads.”

He looks out into the train car. “I’d like to have two moms,” he says decisively.  “But, wait!” he suddenly looks puzzled again, “How can two boys have a kid?”

I wonder again about that guardian. “Wellllll,” I say, “then you might need to get some help.”

“Oh,” he brightens, “like adopting.”

“Yes,” I say with a tinge of relief, “like adopting.” I didn’t want to get into a conversation about surrogacy and sperm donation. I glance up at his guardian. She has a small smile and shakes her head slightly as if to say, ‘Kids? what can you do.’

I decide that I love this seven year old.

“So,” I say to him, “What do you think?”

He looks up at me and considers. “I think it’s okay,” he says finally. And nods definitively.

And then I have to get off the train. It’s my stop.

 

Thriving as a networked individual

“People and institutions exist now in information and communication ecologies that are strikingly different from the ones that existed just a generation ago…It is not an either-in person OR online dichotomy; it is an in-person AND the internet AND mobile contact comprehensiveness.” – Lee Rainie & Barry Wellman, “Networked.”

Thank  God.

Reading this book is like a breath of fresh air. Of relief. You mean all this time stuck in my PDA or online doesn’t mean that I’m a misanthrope? Despite some outcries to the contrary (“it’s all ego,” “everyone’s detached these days!”), it is with a profound sense of relief that I place myself squarely in the Networked camp.

Social networking and creating relationships are not just for the in-person meet anymore. Staying face to face means missing out on the richness of interchange this is humming and thriving right past your keyboard. Social networking means tapping into Facebook, to Twitter, to blogs. And it also means calling your friend and arranging for an in-person meet.

Nine years ago I moved from New York City to Vancouver, Canada, leaving my entire world behind. Thank god we had cellphones. Now with Skype, I can easily video chat my family and friends. With my cheap North American calling plan, I can call my American peeps from the car when I’m commuting. Grabbing a five minute conversation on the go rather than having to wait for a landline at home and paying through the nose. I could also simply Skype the for free, if I weren’t so distracted by video when driving. In the interim, I can read my friends’ blogs, send them articles, like their Facebook postings, and stay tuned into their lives even through I’m far away. Then when I get on a plane and see them face to face, it’s as if we never really had a break.

I embrace my Networked identity. We reach out more, and we also become more autonomous, relying on 1-1 connections rather than more traditional in-person group identities. Each network a snowflake. No two networks alike.

And how three-dimensional will our wonderful webs become? Are we in store for the “Metaverse” (a “convergence of 1. virtually enhanced physical reality and 2. physically persistent virtual space”) or where part of our brain consists of an external hard drive that connects wirelessly to our organic matter (oh wait, that’s our smartphone, we’ve already got that). My grandmother was born without running water. Now she has an Ipad. What changes have been wrought in this life time! What changes are yet to come!

 

References

Rainie, L. & Wellman, B. Networked (2012).

 

Photo credit. 

Photo cropped from original.

Identity reflections

As my social media course winds to its conclusion, I am reflecting back on the first decision I made in the course: how much of myself do I reveal?

At the beginning of the course, I made the decision to post the educational blogs as myself, interwoven into the fabric of my current website. Deciding the my identity was not to be fractured, but yet would be revealed as a whole expression. Although the facets may not make sense (educator? yogi? romantic love guru? sugar free paleo experimenter?), altogether they are a shadowy expression of my own unique digital identity. Just a each thumbprint is unique, each person creates their own unique digital imprint in the world. Each personal learning network is unique – indeed, we are the hub of our own experience and learning – so why would I minimize or flatten this experience in order to placate my readers that I am easily one-dimensional? Knowing that we are all lovers, haters, humble monks, as well as arrogant sons of bitches, can we not expand our own minds to hold the beautiful contradiction and complexity of another human being?

Perhaps our editorializing of ourselves is safety. We fear to reveal our idiosyncrasies because we are afraid that our lack of neat edges speaks to loose ends and irresponsibility. Or that we are protecting our image from those who may be confused by our  speaks to our complexity or our humanity (“no, Mom, at the age of forty, I’ve never been drunk, I swear”). Or maybe we are revealed in our silly humanity, taking selfies and proclaiming our ill acts to the world when perhaps we should just let the moment live without a digital archive (are we afraid if we don’t record it that it will be gone forever?).

At any rate, I am well-pleased with my results. Rather than attempt to box my expression into narrow corridors of branding, I am satisfied by the new aspects of self that have been uncovered through this process. A sugar free nut. A budding educator. Why not? Is not the world wide web a glorious tool for self-expression and exploration?

When I was an actor, my teacher used to berate us when we made our characters logical. “Don’t dull the extremes,” she snapped, “it’s boring. We love the contradictions!” Linear organization and simplicity may be aesthetically pleasing, but there is an equal beauty in the complicated weave and dance of fractals.

Photo credit.

Boundaries, social media, and ethics, oh my!

Yoga students friend me on Facebook all the time.

See, as a yoga teacher, I work in an industry where personal connection is valued. I have the pleasure of working with some of my yoga students up to four times a week. I know their names, their injuries, their sense of humour. Before and after class, we share stories and connect about life happenings. Sometimes, these online connections lead to real-time meetings (coffee, sometimes evolving to friendships). In fact, one of my yoga mentors advised, “Treat your students like friends. No more. No less.” Also, my teaching personality is familiar and candid; though I never feel that they are exposing, my in-class anecdotes are frequently personal in nature and I often story tell about relationships and personal experiences.

Creating clear boundaries can be tricky when working in an industry that seems is so focused on “building community.” Also, social networking is the currency of private contractors; that is, the number of “friends” that I have on Facebook dictates my sphere of influence. If I have a workshop or training coming up, I want to have a robust community in order to create a successful event.  So yoga teachers are caught in an interesting bind: we want extensive communities that capitalize on our personal connections, yet at the same time, we need to have boundaries that respect our student’s privacy.

As an original attempt at separation, I had set up a professional Page and a personal profile. However, students searching for me frequently find my personal page first and initiate friendships. Given the warmth of the nature of our relationship, it feels rude to not be “friends.” So both my page and my profile are now public fodder. And even if I did have complete separation, posting anything personal to Facebook at all is risky since one’s posts can be seen on others’ timelines. As a result, I don’t post anything that I consider overly personal on Facebook at all.

Perhaps the publicity of Facebook will lead to an elevation in communication. In other words, there is no such thing as “speaking behind someone’s back” because someone can turn around at any second. Even private messages could be screenshot and emailed. Anything written can – and could be – used against you in a court of public opinion, if not of law.

In this light, perhaps we can view the dissolution of privacy as an opportunity to step up, rather than scurry underground. If all our behaviour can be exposed, maybe we’ll just behave better. Rather than lament the lack of privacy, let’s embrace behaving in a way that is always fit for public consumption. Let’s act and speak in ways that won’t later make us cringe. And perhaps in this light, we can be more tolerant and compassionate about behaviour that’s outed that may not be ideal.

Because that virtual stone that gets cast on Facebook may just come back around and bite our bums on Twitter.

 

References

Burner, K. & Dennen, V. (2013). Boundaries, privacy and social media use in higher education: What do students think, want, and do? Selected Papers of Internet Research 14. 

Burner, K. & Dennen, V. Friending and Footprints: Privacy and ethical issues of Facebook use in higher education.

Photo credit.

Sugar free at the airport

Travelling to NYC this weekend, I had some strategies for staying sugar free while in transit. Airplane snacks are a no go for the most part: airlines sugar and roast their nuts, add sugar to the hummus (yuck!), add sugar to all dressings, and almost everything comes with gluten crackers and wheat. However, here are some options that can keep you going when you’ve got flights and layovers!

  • BYON: bring your own nuts. Those yummy, cheap nuts that you buy at Trader Joe’s are okay for transport (although I always declare them at customs, they won’t get taken away from you). Get your raw nuts and bring them with you! Nuts sold at the airport are okay, but are often roasted or may have other additives. And the best nutritional bang for your buck is raw.
  • Fruit. Now, I haven’t been eating fruit lately, but if you have fruit as part of your diet then whole fruit is sold at almost all the stands.
  • Eggs. Au Bon Pain has two boiled eggs for sale for just $2.99. Et Voila.
  • Raw veg. A good option: just toss the dressing and instead stock up on some mustard from another kiosk.
  • Salads. Not bad, but the dressings usually have tons of added sugar. So find some mustard or another kiosk with oil and vinegar. If you’re really bold, you can bring your own dressing – as long as it’s under 4 oz. I also use mustard as the great dip for everything. And if you’re eating a tuna salad, the tuna pretty much has enough mayo in it to make your salad yum.
  • Jerkies. Airports now offer jerky as an option (and on flights). Check the sugar content, but not a bad option if you’re eating meat.
  • BYOA: bring your own avocado. One avocado, some salt, it will keep you going for hours!
  • Tip that we all know but could use reminding: drink a ton of water. Airplanes are dehydrating and some snacks (like jerky) tend to be high in salt. Drink plenty of water to stay hydrated and happy in the air.

Happy flying 🙂

Photo credit. 

Photo edited though cropping.

Why we’re fat

The FDA has just approved a “belly balloon” that will let people feel full so they won’t eat.  Reminiscent of gastric bypass surgery (by the way, there is currently there is a longitudinal study being evaluated to assess the effectiveness of surgery), it’s another example of people taking radical steps to help them manage their weight.  With dangers of belly fat looming and one third of American adults labelled obese (and 17% of teenagers), obesity has been looming as the greatest detractor to North American health.

I predict that device will not work. In the short-term yes, certainly. But long-term? The problem with obesity (and diet pills, and diets, generally) is that we don’t eat because we’re hungry. 

Feeling full isn’t the problem.

Feeling is the problem.

We have all these emotions inside of us: fear, sadness, longing, regret. When they start to bubble up, we grab the cake, the pretzels, the cookies, the wine, the beer…in order to make the feelings go away. How much easier is it to have a glass of chardonnay than deal with loneliness? In the short-term, the sugar tactic works. We feel better! And then we’re hungover, sluggish…and the cycle starts again.  And, speaking as a “skinny bitch,” I have often also used not eating as a control tactic. Buying into some idea that if I’m thin, I’ll be okay and the world will make sense.

Same feelings. Still food. Different tactic.

A acupuncturist friend of mine shared a nugget of wisdom from one of her teachers: “Sugar is to cover up feelings. Caffeine is to cover up feeling like we’re not enough.”

Look, it’s natural and important to use food to self-medicate. The beautiful tradition of Ayurveda is based in the philosophy that food is medicine. But let’s look a little deeper. The only way to find deep, inner health isn’t by imposing rules on ourselves; it’s to dare to courageously feel what’s inside of us. To breathe through our experience, feel what we’re feeling, and realize that we’re still here on the other side.

Ways to shift when we want to use food to dull out:

  • phone a friend
  • journal
  • breathe – 1o long breaths
  • go for a walk
  • stretch, yawn
  • put on some music and dance in your living room like a crazy person (yes, do it!)

Don’t try to change everything at once.

Maybe today we simply take three long breaths before eating the cookie/ drinking the wine. The seemingly simple act encapsulates a world of courage. Give yourself a virtual hug and tomorrow maybe it will be five. If there’s work to do, then get a therapist to support you in unearthing what’s driving the feelings. And remember  – the work here may be slow. Two step forward, one step back. When we fall of the wagon (because we will!), let’s be kind rather than drowning our sorrows in pinot gris or a bag of potato chips.

You are not alone. All of humanity is in this one together.

One breath at a time – one feeing at a time – we just do our best.

 

References

Carroll, M., Flegal, K., Kit, Brian & Odgen, C. (2014). Prevalence of childhood and adult obesity in the United States, 2011-2012. Journal of the American Medical Association, 311(8):806-814. doi:10.1001/jama.2014.732

Preidt, R. (2015). FDA approves ‘Belly Balloon’ Weight Loss Device. WebMD. Retrieved from: http://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/20150729/fda-approves-belly-balloon-device-for-weight-loss

Wade, M. (2015). The Risks of belly fat – and how to beat them. WebMD. Retrieved from http://www.webmd.com/diet/obesity/the-risks-of-belly-fat

Politics and Social Media

My Dad’s a Republican who lives in Texas.

I’m a Democrat who lives in Vancouver, Canada.

When I used to go home for holidays, we never talked politics. Fox News would play in the background of the family room while I surreptitiously trolled through BBC online on my laptop.

Facebook, however, has sometimes exposed these unspoken differences.

“I disagree,” read one of his FB comments. It appeared on a post supporting the recent decision to uphold gay marriage nationwide. “I agree,” I typed in, contradicting.

Facebook is just one form of social media in which divergent opinions between groups of people may become unexpectedly explicit. And not just between family members, but between friends, co-workers, and acquaintances.

“I never knew she had such strong feelings about taxes!” a friend confided to me in chagrin, after an exchange online grew heated. Whether it’s about vaccinations, veganism, politics, or charities, sometimes a well-placed prompt can incite a litany of inflamed discourse.

“Discussion with non-like-minded people and exposure to diverse viewpoints is linked not only to facilitating the deliberative process and enhancing the quality of opinions but it is also closely linked to active citizenship by allowing individuals to express their view points and become accustomed to encountering dissimilar opinions.” – Hsu, S. et al (2013)

Like usually attracts like, and “people selectively seek out information congruent with their own disposition and beliefs” (Hsu, S. et al, 2013). On social media, we tend to cluster with those who validate our point of view. However, given the wide net of social media (which can encompass friends, family, and peers), sometimes a surprise slips through the gaps. It’s not rare to be startled out of a Facebook surfing reverie by a dislocating remark. While I may not agree with the opinions that I see expressed, I’ve started to pause in my the discomfort. Can I hear that point of view?

Sometimes there’s no compromise. “Let’s agree to disagree,” as my dad might say. But other times the comments have allowed me to see a bridge to another side of things – even if it’s just a glimpse. While I may decide to come back to my own shore, it’s illuminating to have traveled. My F2F interactions with my Dad have shifted.  I ask him questions occasionally about his politics – not to prove him wrong, but to actually listen to his concerns and his thoughts.

Being “right” will never win us friends –  or arguments. An unexpected gift of social media’s reach is that it may provide us with a bit more of the exposure and empathy that we need to bridge our divides.

And have peaceful Thanksgiving dinners at home.

References

Hsu, S., Kim, Y. & Zuniga, H. (2013). Influence of social media use on discussion network heterogeneity and civic engagement: The moderating role of personality traits. Journal of Communication (63), 498-516. DOI: 10.1111/jcom.12034

30 days of Sugar Free: Results are in

So, how do I feel after 30 days on a sugar-free diet?

Summary: Good. Not life changing, but solid. Lost weight, gained diversity. 

Here’s a run down of the changes.

  1. I’ve lost weight.

While that wasn’t the intention going into this, it’s pretty remarkable to see how the pounds have shifted. And interestingly, I’ve been working out less this month and abstaining from cardio (mostly because I wasn’t sure how I’d feel without my usual carbs holding me up). Who knew that you could eat whole avocadoes and cashews and get leaner? But I did. Rather satisfying for a 41-year-old who’s heard a bushel-full of stories about aging and inevitable weight gain.

  1. Lean strength, slightly wimpier.

Usually I’m a TRX/ YFit fiend, but this month I’ve been holding off. Combination of a whacked out travel schedule and also just taking a break. So I noticed that I’ve lost some strength, but whether that’s because of the diet or because I’ve been a lazy ass is hard to tell. But what I have done instead is gone back to the fundamentals of integrity. Alignment. Glutes. Stabilizers. Posture. So although I don’t feel “YFit” strong right now (Travis’s YYoga class would kick my butt), I feel lean and strong. Yoga strong, if you will. Lighter. As if because I’ve bulked down, I’m not relying on the superficial muscles strength to pull me through, but am exploring how I can be more integrated. I’m interested to add some YFit/ TRX back into my world and see what happens.

  1. I have a caffeine addiction.

This is not news at all, actually.

But let’s just say that I like treats. And when you’re sugar free, hot beverages are treats. I don’t think I’m going to kick my caffeine habit soon, but it’s something that bears exploring. September, perhaps? Eeeeee, just the thought makes me cringe. I have to choose a month where it’s okay if I’m cranky for a couple days.

  1. I have discovered new foods.
  • SQUASH. You’ve heard me wax eloquent. So good.
  • Bouillon. Yes, you got it. Put some bouillon in a mug with hot water, make yourself some broth, and yum!
  • Nuts. I always stayed away from them because they seemed so high in fat and hard to digest. Now I’m a nut fiend. Still not sure it’s great for my digestion, I’ll start soaking those suckers the night before (thanks Steph Belding for that tip!).
  • GDS: good done simple. Good foods, simply done. Roast them, bake them, eat them, and you’re good.
  • Spices! Curry is my favorite, easiest go to. Bake it on cauliflower. Trying out a medley of rubs that are pre-mixed. And salt. Yes, salt. Not too much, but wow! No wonder people like this stuff.
  • Bubbly water. I’ve been thirsty this month. Enter a slight (ahem, severe) Pellegrino obsession.
  • Avocado. Cut it open, add a little salt, eat. Yum.
  • Cucumber. Cut up, drizzled with a bit of salt. Perfect snack.
  • Coconut oil. On everything.

Verdict? Will I continue?

Heck yeah!

It’s been strangely easy.  Now, I do think I need to watch a couple of creeping crutches, such as salt, caffeine, and nut intake. And I’m curious to feel my body as I add more cardio and strength building exercises into my routine.

One of the unexpected benefits of embarking on this adventure has been the community. So many wonderful people have come forward to share their success stories, commiserate, and jump on the challenge wagon. I’m excited to participate in our August challenges and see how we all fare – to share our go-to solutions, our unexpected discoveries, and greatest challenges.

If you’re interested, jump on board our Page with us and begin your August revolution! It can be as mild or as full on as you like. Do the month, or just come in for the week. Starting August 1 (aw heck, I’m posting late – join on in August 2nd!) and August 9th.

I celebrated the end of my first 30 days last night by sharing a glass of Dom Perignon with a girlfriend.  Um, awesome. It was sugary. And divine.

 

Photo credit.

 

Then end of 9 to 5

A Facebook private message happens at 8:57 pm, “out of working hours” (Casey et al., 2014), which leads to a work call and work discussion in the late evening. With the advent of social media as a resource for professional communication, the boundary between work and play is fuzzier than ever. Friends on Facebook are also colleagues. Professional communities of practice lead to personal affiliations. While we’ve always had conflation of professional and personal space, the prevalent use of social media is merging our relationships further. Attempts to “list” people (Twitter and Facebook) or “circle” people (google plus) are a nod to attempted boundaries, but culling lists can become time consuming and even political.

This intersection of personal and professional is leading to new quandaries and rules around interactions. For example, on Facebook, do I like their personal page or their professional page? Both? Which is appropriate? Is it rude if I don’t friend someone? What if they only have a personal page?

Complicating matters, choices of boundaries are individually driven: some individuals may have strong divisions in their networks, while others are comfortable with a degree of murkiness. And while some may opt out of the social media quandary entirely, they then may be missing valuable extra-work opportunities for connection and support.

As we move increasingly into a world of asynchronous, geographically open communication, our traditional boundaries are shifting dramatically and heralding a call for increased worker autonomy (Harvard Business Review Article).  When a professional can easily do their work from home, calling them to be at their desk at prescribed times seems mistrustful. Social media can fill the void created by physical absence by providing an extra-work space for communication.

Perhaps personal and professional boundaries will rest less with social media technology or innovations, but simply remain a personal choice in how an individual engages in their networks and uses their tools. Individuals with boundaries will have move overlap in their social media use, while those with firm boundaries will make clear divisions in their networks between work and play spaces. Social media exposes the greater question: how much of a boundary do we need between our work/ play selves?

Will the intention behind our work/ play boundaries – exemplified by the traditional 9-5 workday – serve us in this multi-layered world of identity and interaction?

References

Casey, A., Goodyear, V. & Kirk, D. (2014): Tweet me, message me, like me: Using social media to facilitate pedagogical change within an emerging community of practice. Sport, Education and Society, 1-18. DOI: 10.1080/13573322.2013.858624

Photo credit, used courtesy of Creative Commons. Revision: photo added to grey background.

Who owns my “A”?

With social learning on the rise, group learning and collaboration is becoming increasingly common in the classroom. Students can use google docs, wikis, and powerpoints to create their group projects, and connect across distance to produce their work. Researchers are watching the trend, wondering if this “collective intelligence” will result in increased “creativity, innovation, and invention” (Gray et al., 2013).

While “there is strong evidence that social media can facilitate the creation of Personal Learning Networks that help learners aggregate and share the results of learning achievement, participate in collective knowledge generation, and manage their own meaning making” (Dabbagh, 2012), implementing these tools effectively into the traditional classroom environment is proving tricky. While social media tools work quite well for informal, personal connections, scholastic use has generated an array of challenges around issues such as identity, motivation, and assessment.

America was built upon the ideals of individualism: work hard enough and you can make something of yourself. We pride ourselves on self-reliance, entrepreneurship, and tell tales of dedicated underdogs achieving the American Dream. Not surprisingly, our culture fosters a spirit of competition where individual achievement is valued and prized over the gains of the community. In this context, collaborative learning seems to contradict our fundamental values. How, for example, does one feel invested in a group project when participants don’t contribute uniformly? How do we reward students appropriately for their work? Who “owns” the A?

These scholastic issues are representative of the tensions around privacy and ownership that pervade the greater online community. While Creative Commons has stepped in the bridge the significant grey area between copyright and public domain, ownership is still fuzzy. If I take a screenshot, is it mine? If I tweet without acknowledging the source, is that ethical?

To step back and take a larger view: collaboration, information sharing, and interdependence are essential for progress. When people work together, our communities become stronger and smarter. But as more tools for information sharing are created, we need to cultivate the ethical wherewithal to give credit where it’s due. Taking information for free is still too easy: illegal downloading, plagiarism, and copyright infringement are rife. Our technology has outpaced our ethics and our policing. So until we have the protocols worked out, we need to take personal responsibility for the information that we appropriate and curate. We can start by questioning our use of information as well as attributing credit diligently.

Collective learning is providing us with an opportunity to question our culture’s dogged adherence to individualism. Acknowledging the power of collaboration liberates us from the idea that we need to “do it all” ourselves. Freeing ourselves from our usual short-sighted competitiveness permits us to attribute generously without being afraid that we’ll somehow undercut our own personal worth.

And when we trust others to honour our contributions, then we won’t cling to our own work out of fear that it will be inappropriately stolen or copied.

Who owns the “A?”

Maybe, eventually, we all do.

References

Clerehan, T., Hamilton, M., Gray, K., Richardson, J., Sheard, J., Thompson, C. & Waycott, J. (2012). Worth it? Findings from a study of how academics assess students’ Web 2.0 activities. Research in Learning Technology (20). 1-15. doi: 10.3402/rlt.v20i0/16153

Dabbagh, N. & Kitsantas, A. (2012). Personal Learning Environments, social media and self-regulated learning: A natural formula for connecting formal and informal learning. Internet and Higher Education (15). 3-8. doi:10.1016/j.iheduc.2011.06.002

Gray, K., Kim, H. & Thompson, C. (2014). How social are social media technologies (SMTs)? A linguistic analysis of university students’ experiences of using SMTs for learning. Internet and Higher Education (21), 31-40. doi: 10.1016/j.iheduc.2013.12.001

 

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons.

 

Media, meditation, and monkeys, oh my!

People, my mind has gone full jumping monkey.
As I’ve plunged more fully into social media (with a vengeance, tally ho!) during my Web 2.0 course, my mind has become hyperactive, jumpy, and just a wee bit obsessive. The instantaneous and fractal nature of working online is seductive; I’ve followed so many rabbits down so many holes that I’ve created an underground bunny kingdom.

The virtual world is addictive; it fires up our reward centres and keeping us clicking along. I may check the clock at 9 pm, think vaguely that I should stop blogging/ tweeting/ networking/ surfing  – and when I look up again it’s 10:30. My brain then stays jacked on for at least another 90 minutes, too giddy to unwind from all that stimulation.

I usually sleep like a rock. The last month? Insomniac.*

“Networking,” “plugging-in,” and “multi-tasking” titillate the monkey that is waiting to swing in our mind trees. As we all engage in the virtual worlds of our choosing (twitter, Facebook, surfing, second life, video games, etc.), we need meditation and embodiment practices more than ever before. While it the virtual world is just as “real” a forum for social interaction as face-to-face, participating in these worlds removes us from the sensations and experiences of our physical body and immediate environment. Virtual worlds are an increasingly common, culturally sanctioned out-of-body experience that occurs from the dubious comfort of sitting in a chair in front of a computer.

Full health requires embodiment. We need to retain our capacity to sense, to taste, to touch, to hear. The more we are in our heads, the more we need to come back to our bodies.

“You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes every day. Unless you’re too busy; then you should sit for an hour.” – Zen adage

For every hour that we spend surfing, can we spend just five deliberate minutes mindfully feeling, stretching, walking? Being with kids is a wonderful way to get back into reality (they won’t let us be otherwise – um, unless they’re on your IPad). And let’s not just tend to our bodies, but let’s calm down that crazy monkey in our heads as well. Sitting in meditation for even just five minutes will help us find a little space for our thoughts. Otherwise the minds can become infatuated by its own agenda, forgetting that it rests in the greater space of our being-ness.

I am loving every moment of my Web 2.0 course. Participating more fully in social media is dynamic, fun, collaborative, and exciting. But this work has also exposed some of the consequences that come with playing online. Now that almost everyone in our culture is hooked in, more and more of our educational and recreational activities are become virtual. And in this tidal shift, it is becoming far too easy to leave our bodies, senses, and feelings behind. You know, like Neo in the Matrix.

It’s an exciting new frontier. And by all means, let us all go “to there,” as Liz Lemon might say.

But let’s make sure we’ve got some happy bodies and spacious minds waiting for us when we get back home.

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons.

*(Another reason paleo friends are becoming close to my heart; they emphasize our need for sleep.)