The problems with resolutions

So it’s New Years. So you made a resolution. What is it this year?

I’ll share my typical checklist:

-lose five pounds

-go to yoga EVERY DAY

-finish writing book

-resolve all unresolved psychological issues

-do something really important that will make everyone love me

Hmmmmm. Lofty, anyone?

Resolutions are excellent.  They invite us to visualize, set intentions, make goals.    Like many of us, I love the idea of a clean slate.  From this brilliantly cleared slate, my life is an open book with nowhere to move but forward into greater and loftier etheric realms of evolution.  Like wiping away the niggling and painful habits of the past in one fell midnight-bedazzled swoop so that I emerge phoenix-like into the new year, ready and prepared to seize the day and realize my dreams.

So then what happens when mid-February rolls around and I have not gone to yoga for a week and have gained two pounds and my book is a mass of unrecognizable scribbles on a post-it note?  My ego happily chimes in: you are not good/dedicated/hard-working/talented/insert adjective here enough to get things done. You might as well give up now and eat another cookie.

Surely this is not the way.

The yo-yo of self-esteem that depends on goals being met or lost creates a win-lose situation.  Well guess what?  Eventually, we all lose.  While goals are great for getting us motivated and giving us vision, what do we do when the thing we wind up with doens’t match what we thought we wanted in the first place?  For example, maybe the book didn’t get written.  But instead I went to India, studied yoga for two months straight, and had an adventure?  Keeping resolutions might keep me so busy lamenting over what I didn’t accomplish that I forgeto to actually feel good about what DID happen!

Here’s an exercise.

Based on what you were able to do last year, write out (in retrospect) your resolutions for 2009.  Take stock of all that you DID accomplish.  The strange, unexpected twists and opportunities that life dumped in your lap.

Now, how does that feel?

Going Vegan, Ep. 9: Farting

Alan had taken to telling our friends a story about how I have farted myself awake.

Deeeelightful.

Yes, the flatulence had continued.  Robust and tangy, my flatulence knew no end.  I suppose since he had to cope with the Dutch oven after effects of my vegan diet, he was entitled to reap some momentary joy in the re-telling.

“It’s like when Brian farts himself awake in Family Guy,” Alan can barely speak through his laughter.  “He just startles himself, then looks around!”  Alan wipes his eyes and sighs, “I love it when he actually acts like a dog.”

I gritted my teeth and smiled.  Hilarious.

But he had a point.  My belly felt so bloated that I could pooch it out and look five months pregnant.  Doing this in front of Alan was enough to enact my revenge.   However, I was getting tired. When I slept, I slept hard.  I’m not sure if this was because of the diet or because I’d also started to take a pass on full-caf coffee.

Which reminds me: Success Story!

I had a decaf soy latte and it was delicious.  It really was better than the dairy version, and I do not write that lightly.  I was stunned by the deliciousness.  And Agro café also had the decency to offer a vegan banana bread!  I was, as they say, in non-hog heaven.

My restaurant challenges continued.  But I think that if your standards aren’t too high, you can really make do everywhere.  Tonight I had a baked potato with olive oil and Dijon and a side of grilled asparagus.  And a very large white wine.  I came home to some sesame crackers and hummus and called it a night.

When I told people what I was doing, I invariably got the same comment, “Better watch your protein!”  Apparently they hadn’t read the same material that I had.  I nobly resisted the urge to say, “Where do you think cows get their protein, huh?”

I remember the warnings from the Vegan book: don’t be a vegan asshole.

But perhaps lightening up on the roughage a bit would be a good idea.

For everyone’s sake.

Yoga For Stiff Old Guys – 20 minutes

Are you a stiff old guy? You know, tight hamstrings, tight lower back? You like lifting weights but now you can’t touch your toes? Never fear, Yoga For Old Stiff Guys can help. All you need is a wall. Great for younger guys on their way to becoming stiff oldies. Take twenty minutes and start to loosen up. With music designed just for you. Yoga for Stiff Guys with music. 

Sankalpa – a New Year’s Meditation

This meditation comes by way of Rachel Zinman, a stunning ISHTA teacher in Australia.
My favorite teacher and Mentor Alan Finger always recommends the Sankalpa Meditation as a great way to start the New Year. He says that a Sankalpa- setting an intention for your self is different to a New Years resolution. A resolution is something we make with our conscious mind where as a Sankalpa is a seed that can’t help but grow in the ground of our unconscious. Just recently Swami Paramahansa Satyananda- one of the great yogis and teachers of our time took Mahasamadhi. His Sankalpa is a touching reminder of how important it is to face everything with an open heart. you can click here to read Satyanandas Sankalpa

Instructions for the Sankalpa meditation:

1. Start with  a few rounds of alternate nostril breaths to withdraw the senses. If you don’t know this technique you can simply close your eyes and observe your breath for a few moments.
2.Visualize writing your intention in your own handwriting on the blue screen of your mind ( let the intention arise with out prejudgement)
3.Chant your intention as a mantra at your third eye,  chant it in the throat, chant it at the heart, the solar plexus, the pubic bone and then root it right down into the pelvic floor.  Imagine your intention has roots and feel them sinking into the earth.
4. next  see your Sankalpa as a plant beginning to grow- you can let go of the word here and sense it more as an energy.
5. feel it as a tender shoot in the area just behind the pubic bone, feel it receiving the warmth of the sun in your solar plexus area and then see it as a beautiful flower blossoming in your heart
And then radiate that beauty up through your throat and into the crown.
6. You can practice this meditation for 40 days. In my own experience its a profound and healing way to start  every year and my intentions always seem to come to fruition!

Going Vegan, Ep. 8: Eating out

If you’re going to eat out vegan, consider Greek.

Everything was bathed in olive oil, fresh foods, roasted potatoes…if you could avoid the feta and the fish, you’d be in a vegan-approved land of culinary delight.  I got the hummus with pita, roasted lemon potatoes without the feta, the gigantes (giant lima beans), the roasted veggies, and the beet salad with walnut (sans – you guessed it – the feta).  Deeeelicious.

I left stuffed to the gills.

I’d been downing my Udo’s oil every day.  It was a little weird to drink oil – kind of like drinking something you weren’t supposed to.  Udo’s has a light, nutty flavor to it, which wasn’t so bad if the texture weren’t so slippery and strange.  I assured myself that I was doing the right thing for my body, and quickly rinsed my mouth out with something else after.

One night, I met my formerly vegan friend Ina at Café Baru, a cubana place serving delicacies like plantainitoes and guacamole.  With a few subtractions (namely, the cheese), we had a vegan-licious time of it.

As a former vegan and stickler for health, Ina was on me in a flash about nutrition.  I told her that I’d been a good girl, taking my supplements and drinking Mr. Udo’s oil.  Ina warned me about oils: “Nobody tells you, but they can go rancid in 5-7 days.  Buy the small bottles, keep them in the fridge, and expose them to air as little as possible.”  She sighed, “You’re inspiring me. I want to be vegan again.  Why’d you do it?”

“An experiment,” I said, “to see how it feels.  So far I’m eating a lot better than I ever have. Lots of fruits, veggies.  I try the weird stuff in the supermarket. You know, those leaves that look like a brontosaurus should be eating them.  That kind of stuff.”

She looks knowing, “How’s your digestive track?  I used to have the most rancid farts. It’s like you become a human compost pile.”

I blushed, “Still in growing pains, I think.”

She nodded, “Keep an eye on that.  Your body will give you signals if you’re not digesting properly.  And chew your food.  Digestion of carbohydrates is done by your saliva. If you don’t chew your food, it just sits in your tummy.  Your tummy doesn’t have teeth. So chew.”

I nodded slowly.  I’ve always been a stupidly fast eater; this will be a good (and olfactorally pleasing) reason to take more time.

“And sesame seeds.  Eat sesame seeds. Tons of calcium in sesame seeds.  Nutritional yeast has tons of B12.  It also has this great cheesy taste.  Eat, eat!”  She pointed to the plate.  “That yucca stick has your name on it.”

I’d been finding that my vegan diet had been leaving me surprisingly full.  I am stuffed from my meals and haven’t been getting food cravings during the day at all.  I get full on less food.  And in general, my energy has been consistent and good.  Last night I did go to bed an hour earlier than usual, but there’s something …authentic…about my fatigue.  I figured I was detoxing like Stephanie warned and am supposed to sleep it off.

The danger I can see looming is boredom.  Sure, vegans protest about the abundance of food choices, but I’m a far cry from a culinary expert.  Without the cacophony of usual ingredients or foods, I was worried that I would get tired of steaming veggies all the time.   I must learn new recipes.  Like Baru’s fried yucca and tomato salsa.  Freakin’ delicious.

Going Vegan, Ep. 6 :The Airport

Today’s adventure: Finding Vegan food in the Airport.

I trolled one end of Chicago O’Hare’s Terminal B to the other.  If you’ve never been to O’Hare, I have to say that it’s a stellar place for a layover.  Lots of interesting shops and eateries, as well as a Brookstone where you can try out their gadgets.  One bummer is the lack of free Wi-fi.  Free wi-fi would go a long way to warming the cockles of my heart.

I was writing this with my power cord was plugged into the underside of a phone bank.  The airport was packed with travelers and the paltry selection of computer nooks just wasn’t cutting it.  Savvy computer users had already staked out the outlets of choice, but a fellow user let me in on the phone bank secret.

But back to food.  My choices: nuts and fruit mixes, a smoothie from Jamba Juice, a random package of raw vegetables, fruit medleys and whole fruit, beans and vegetable salads from a Mediterranean grill. Not too shabby in a pinch!  I was very tempted by a vegetable wrap at Starbucks until I read the ingredients on the back and discovered that the pesto sauce contained Parmesan.   Corn syrup was in the ingredient list too as a sweeter for the bread, which – although brown – was not in fact whole wheat.  It’s all about the fine print.  I resisted the sandwich and grabbed a nut and fruit mix instead, feeling determinedly wholesome.  Craving something warm, I ordered up a Zen tea and got an apple for the plane.

The Anti-Inflammation book has continued to be a stellar resource.  As I promised Alan, I had been doing my research and had even made an excel spreadsheet of my findings.

Basically, it’s what Stephanie said.  I need to find a good way to get my Omega 3’s that aren’t from fish oil.  Also, I want to do some more investigating of Calcium and Vitamin D.  More research needed to be done.  The next few weeks were going to be about getting familiar with “kale,” “mustard greens,” “turnip greens”  and a variety of food sources that had heretofore been neglected in favor of romaine, iceberg lettuce, and broccoli.

The book also clarified the pitfalls of saturated fats that are rampant in – you guessed in – butter and cheese!  So maybe I don’t have to feel so bad about forsaking Grandma Kay’s potato gratin after all.

Now, it’s important to note that going vegan doesn’t mean eating French baguettes all day (delicious and vegan as they are).  It’s quite possible to be vegan and just eat fries and drink coke.  Since I was going to be getting my protein from plant-based sources, I needed to capitalize on what I was eating.  Whole grains and ancient superfoods such as amaranth and quinoa (grains that are both complete proteins, by the way!) would have to be incorporated.  It was going to be a whole new grocery world out there.

I sent an email to Alan yesterday to tell him that, yes, I’d actually decided to do the vegan thing and to please not greet me at that airport with a steak and cheese dinner planned.  We’ll see how this goes.

 

Going Vegan, Ep. 5 – Protein?

Two revelations.

One: my chocolate fears were ungrounded.  While I could not have milk chocolate, I could still have dark chocolate, as it contains neither milk nor butter.  However, my chocolate covered espresso beans were out, as they contained cream (always have to read the ingredients).

Two: It was day two of my vegan lifestyle, and – at the moment – I felt great!  Absolutely flatulent, but great.   As long as I was content to wallow in my own stenchiness, life was pretty grand.

My digestive system was – as they say – adjusting.

Finding vegan alternatives in middle America (or middle Florida) was a bit of an adventure.  Yesterday the family went to see a movie and grabbed snacks pre-show.  Game to try, I searched high and low before finding my solution at the Steak and Potato chain.  Baked potato, no butter, with mustard and salt.

It was actually quite yummy.

On the morning of New Year’s day, my sister had tried to reason with me.

“Start tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“Because then the family vacation will be over.  It’ll be easier.”

I considered.  “Nope, I’m going to start today.  It’s January first.  We have tons of food around.  It shouldn’t be that hard.”

She checked in with me later: “What have you eaten today.”

I considered, “Cashews, a raw tomato.  An orange.  Chickpeas.”

She looked at me.  “Yum.”

“Hey,” I said, “It may not be gourmet, but so far so good.”

By the end of the day, you could add on the glorious baked potato, a salad with avocado, blueberry, carrots, and corn and Snyder’s insanely delicious pretzel sticks.  Plus wine.

Oh, in reading my Vegan for Dummies book, I discovered that not all wine is Vegan. However, I’m drawing a line.  Wine is a great pleasure in life, and I am not going to get all crazy about it.  And while we’re on the Vegan for Dummies book, I have so far been very disappointed by the actual amount of information that is in it.  So far, it reads like a quietly hysterical defensive shriek masked in a patronizing hippy “let you be you” riff.  Every paragraph reiterates how being vegan is actually better for you than the “SAD” (Standard American Diet).  But the book doesn’t seem to address the practicalities of eating vegan and possible nutritional pitfalls.  Also, the authors seem to criticize vaccinations, which I find alarming.  I realize I may be ostracizing the vegans out there…but polio? Hello? Seriously people, we can’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, if you know what I mean.

Instead, I’ve found a lot of fantastic information in another book, “The Anti-Inflammation Diet for Dummies,” lent to me by my health-conscious brother-in-law.  It contains a wealth of information on where to obtain your essential fatty acids (enter Flaxseed, the vegan wonderfood!) and protein.  And get this: “As long as you are eating a healthy diet, plant foods can supply you all the amino acids you need.”  This from a “non-vegan” book, which I find slightly more credible than my vegan propaganda book.  YAY!

Going Vegan, Ep. 4: Chocolate

Something terrible occurred to me today.

Chocolate.

As I was munching on one of my stocking stuffers (chocolate coffered espresso beans), I realized that chocolate would be one the fruits forbidden to me during my vegan adventure.  Sure, there was carob, a chocolate substitute, but what could really replace the smooth, creamy deliciousness of a Hershey’s kiss or Swiss Milk Hot Chocolate (which I’d had last night)?  Carob?  Seriously?  No.

Updated note: I have since realized that chocolate is actually vegan.   “Cocoa butter” is not the same thing as “butter.”  Thank the sweet baby Jesus.

Vegans talk with all seriousness about how these substitutes actually can be as good as real thing.  In all fairness, I have to disagree.  Tofurky for example.  A substance of questionable texture to say the least.  “Tofu is as good as chicken!” some say.  Um, no.  It really isn’t.  As my Dad says, “They wouldn’t advertise that it tasted like meat unless the meat tasted better in the first place!”

He’s got a point.  While some substitutes work well, some are just dreadful.  Like soy cheese. Have you ever had soycheese?  In a former quest for edible alternatives, I made the error of actually trying it and am still fighting nausea from the memory. (“Daiya” is a new and notable suggestion. Although it’s essentially congealed oil, it’s delicious cheddar flavored congealed oil.) Veggie dogs, however, might be on par with the real thing.  I think that is because regular hotdogs aren’t made of real meat to begin with.

So now the question for these final few days: Did I wean myself gradually off of these delights by taking them out of my diet now, or do I gorge on them and hope that the sickness I feel after puts me off them long enough to make the transition easy?

I know what the mature response to this is.  We all know what the “right” answer should be.

I grabbed another handful of chocolate covered espresso beans.

Going Vegan, Ep. 3: Family reaction

Hatching a New Years’ Plan

I decided to put my plan into action for New Years. 

After all, a New Year, a new start…and that way, I wouldn’t have to sacrifice all my Christmas goodies.   As I sit sipping tea (with milk) and banana bread (made with eggs and butter), I relished my last few days of decadence.

If I was going to “clean up” my act, I figured I was in the perfect place for a little dairy blow out before the big day came.  You see, we were having a family reunion over the holidays. My family hails from the Midwest, where all things good come covered in butter and cheese.  And sometimes baked with cornflakes on top.  Last night, we ate buttered corn, cheesey sour cream potatoes (made the way my Grandma Kay taught us too, and they are outrageously delicious), honeyed ham loaf (well, I didn’t eat this since I’m pesco-vegetarian, but it smelled divine), buttered carrots, regular mashed potatoes with butter, and a brilliantly green opaque jello “salad” with nuts and fruit in it.  This “ambrosia” actually might have been vegan, but I abstain from all food fluorescent.

The theme of the meal?  Butter.  Butter, butter, butter.

My 90-year old grandmother still drinks a couple of glasses of whole milk a day, and it was a staple of our diet growing up.  With all the dairy farms in the Midwest, butter and milk practically have entrée status.  No meal (or side dish) is complete without them.  It is virtually unpatriotic to abstain from milk in our family, just as it would be unpatriotic to buy a Japanese car in Michigan.

No big deal though, right?  Substitute olive oil in for butter, and there’s still all that delicious taste.  And from what I hear, olive oil is much better on the heart than butter.  And of course, the upside is that no cows are bothered to make it.

Family Response

When I mentioned my plan to my family, responses varied.

“Hey Dad, I’m thinking of going vegan in the New Year.”

“What’s that?”

“You know, where you don’t eat meat, and you don’t eat diary products or eggs either.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s nicer to the animals.”

My Dad looks unconvinced: “Cows don’t get hurt when you milk them.”  (Did I mention my family used to have a farm?)

“Well, maybe not when they’re hand milked, but when you do it by machine, their udders can get infected, and it’s bad for them.”

“Oh, their udders get infected anyway.”

“Okay, but it’s harder on them being hooked up to machines, and then you take their calves away and it’s upsetting to them.”

My squints at me like Clint Eastwood, “You ever see a momma cow kick its baby?  That’s what they do when they’re tired of feeding them. Kick ‘em away.  Smack.  You think that’s not upsetting?”

I rolled my eyes, “Okay, but that’s the momma cow’s choice, alright?  They’re lined up all day, fed hormones, and overmilked.  It’s not good for them. ”

“Bah.  They’re cows.  They’re fine.”

My 90-year old grandmother looked aghast, “No milk?  Where will you get your calcium?”

“Um..broccoli.  Broccoli has more calcium than milk does.”

She looked unconvinced, “Welllllll, I don’t know about that.”

My sister was more supportive.  She got me the book, “Living Vegan for Dummies” for Christmas.  The first few chapters are all about “going at your own pace” and not pissing anyone else off by being high and mighty.  They spend a lot of time on this part, so I’m guessing vegans have a reputation for doing just that.

I make a note to self to tread lightly.

 

(Author’s note: For any readers that are confused by the dates, I previously chronicled these events, but never published them.  However, it’s a timely and parallel re-telling, as I’ve just gone BACK to being vegan again after an encounter with a dominatrix naturopath…but that’s for later in the story…) 

Going Vegan, Ep. 2: Steph gives me the vegan skinny

I decided to get the skinny from one of my vegan friends.  Actually, she’s my only vegan friend.

We met at a coffee shop and I had my favorite dairylicious breakfast of muffin and latte. I am aware my days may be numbered.

Stephanie is one of those quiet vegans, who goes about her business without loudly soapboxing her opinions, spraying paint on fur, or glaring at meat-eaters.   If you didn’t ask her, you’d never know that she was vegan. She’s also a kick ass personal trainer with abs of steel, so forget about the waifish images might be floating in your head.  Stephanie is a lean machine, to be sure, but she could probably benchpress me.

“I love eating this,” I said, indicating my banana nut muffin and whole milk latte. “This is good.  I would really miss this.”

“Yes,” she said, “but you can get that in vegan form.  Just get a vegan muffin instead and a soy latte.”

“Soy latte,” I said dubiously.

“You might even like it more.  Soy is slightly sweeter than milk, so lots of people like it better than cow’s milk.”

“Hmmmm.” I was not convinced.  But if I got to keep my café culture, so much the better.  However, I wouldn’t be able to get a vegan muffin at Starbucks.  I’d have to go to a more health-wise food for that, like Whole Foods, where they catered to fringe eaters.  I don’t know how the café culture is at Whole Foods, but I could get the muffin there and sneak it into Starbucks.  Just wrap it up and put it in my purse.

Yes, I actually do think this way.

“So if I’m going to go vegan, what do I need to worry about in terms of vitamins and stuff…that’s what I’m worried about.  It seems like I’d have to be really on top of what I’m eating and sometimes I’m not so good about that.”

She looked serious, “Vitamin B, Vitamin D, your Omega 3’s and 6’s, since you won’t be eating fish.  But a lot of what you’ll be eating will have a higher nutritional content.  Dark, leafy greens, legumes.  You may want to make fruit or veg smoothies.  I’ll give you some sites to look at online.  The info is all out there now.  You’ll start to eat cleaner, and you’ll probably feel better too.  You may even go through a bit of a detox.”

I did a detox once. I drank lemonade with cayenne flakes for three days and then celebrated by eating an entire Sarah Lee chocolate cake. But at least it was a low-fat cake.

“You may notice,” Stephanie says, “that the first week or two you will actually feel a little under the weather, or tired.  Your body will be shedding toxins and junk that have accumulated in your system over time.  It will pass, and after that you will have more energy and feel better.”

This sounds good to me.  I’m getting older and I’ve noticed that I’ve been more tired of late.  “Of late” meaning the last five years.  I don’t know if it’s my metabolism winding down or my lifestyle catching up, but I get mopey in the afternoons and crave sugar and caffeine.

“Well that sounds good,” I said.  “Cleaner sounds good.”

“I’ve got some great recipes you can try. It’s really easy, once you get the hang of it.  Making your own food is going to be easier and better than eating out.”

Ah, recipes.

Recipes require…what’s that word?  Oh.  Cooking.  I’m one of those gals who can make two proper meals (grilled cheese and pasta puttanesca, only one of which qualifies as vegan).   My idea of cooking is steaming a head of broccoli and eating the whole thing.

“Okay, but they’d better be easy recipes,” I warned, “I’m not what you’d call a hand in the kitchen.”

“Easy,” she promised.  “You’ll get the hang of it.  Simple ingredients, good spices, clean food.  No problem.”

I liked the idea of clean food, who doesn’t?  It sounded like something that’s good for your car and good for you.

I took a breath.  Okay, I’m going in.

Going Vegan, Ep. 1: Chronicles of an vegan experiment

This is an everyday girl’s chronicle into the jungles of veganism.  It’s for skeptics, the dabblers, the curious, the tolerant, the intolerant – for anyone who’s peered over the fence of conventional eating and wondered just what the hell was growing in the neighbor’s lawn.   For anyone who wants to shake up their the burgers and fries.

Welcome to the world of veganism.  Where tempers run high, passions are fiery, and quinoa rules all.

The vegans say that it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle.  Here’s what happened to me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What do you think about me going vegan for three months and then writing about it?” I asked my boyfriend Alan, around Christmas time.

“What do you think about being single?”

Although my boyfriend was usually supportive of my adventures, he clearly had some reservations about this one.

“What about protein,” he said.

“That’s what beans are for,” I replied, “and tofu, and…that, you know, kind of stuff.  Edamame.”

He sighed, “And what about your vitamin intake.  Minerals.”

“I’m going to do research. Lots of research.  And,” I said grandly, “I will take a multi-vitamin.”

“You won’t be able to eat any dairy products.”

“I know,” I said defensively.  “I know that.”

“No pizza, no cheese, no milk, no sashimi, no French toast, no yogurt-“

“I know!  I know that.”

Alan sighed and looked resigned. “I absolutely do not support you in this.  You’re going to become a pain in the ass at restaurants.  But it’s your life, sweetcheeks.  Do what you gotta do.”

And thus began my plans for this culinary adventure.   Going vegan had been in the back of my mind for a couple years.  Since my early twenties, I had gradually been curtailing the kinds of food that I eat.  First, there was the decision to not eat cows, followed by the no pigs, then the no mammals.  A couple years later, no chicken.  And then, I’d waffled on fish.  Testing the waters of being a full-on vegan felt like my personal dietary evolutionary imperative.  I didn’t know if it was something that I would ultimately live by, but I wanted to give it a shot.

Grudgingly though, I did understand Alan’s caution.  We were both huge foodies and one of our joys was going out and eating delicious food together.  Cheese, for example, would be a difficult stumbling block.  What Italian or French meal is complete without fabulous cheese?

Because cheese is an indirect animal product, I hadn’t had the passionate need to eradicate it from my diet.  Vegans might disapprove of my ambivalence, but my interest in exploring life sans dairy came from an mental rather than a visceral resistance.  Intellectually, I understood that animal fats aren’t the best things to eat and that milk was made for babies, not adults.  But there was still a large part of me that just loved the bite of sharp cheddar, the creaminess of goat cheese, and the tang of Roquefort.

Despite these concerns though, I did expect a little more leeway from Alan, since he was a pseudo-vegetarian like me who consumed fish.  Unlike me, though, he also ate kobe meatballs or fois gras when they happened to be nearby.  We might call him a slutty pesco-vegetarian.  The more stringent of the vegetarian community frown upon terms like “pesco-vegetarian” or “ovo-vegetarian,” saying that you can’t be a vegetarian if you dabble in fish or fowl.   But whatever.  I say they still get credit.

Like many others, Alan had taken to radically reducing the amount of meat that crosses his plate for health reasons.  His dietary renaissance came after witnessing his grandfather suffer a protracted and difficult death.  When Alan asked the doctor what had contributed to his grandfather’s end, one of the factors turned out to be his grandfather’s meat-heavy traditional Croatian diet.  Alan immediately swore off almost all kinds of meat in order to prevent against a similar end.  But while he may not order steak at restaurants, he has no philosophical problem about actually eating it.  When someone else ordered delicious beef cutlets or roast chicken, you can bet that a sampling would find its way over to his plate.

Unlike Alan, I played in the waters of vegetarianism because I love animals and just really don’t like the idea of eating them.  After growing up with cats, dogs, rabbits, and guinea pigs, it didn’t take too long before it occurred to me that sheep and cows weren’t so different from my pets.   Then I found out that pigs were more intelligent than my three-year old niece, so they wouldn’t do either.  Then I got queasy about the calamari and octopi because they’re pretty smart, too (smarter than my cat, which on second thought actually might not be that hard).   What intelligence has to do with edibility, I’m not really sure, but I’d rather have my food as oblivious as possible.   I waffled on chicken for a long time (there might be the element of a cuteness factor there; fowl are not as cute as mammals), but I finally cut out poultry about two years ago.  So now I’m down to eating just fish.  And only fish, unlike my occasionally philandering boyfriend.

I’d hesitated from pursuing a vegan lifestyle because of nutritional and, well, aesthetic obstacles.  Like sugarplums, the phrases “protein deficiency,” “anemia,” and “good god, no cheese?” ran through my head.  Unlike vegetarians, vegans don’t eat or use anything that derives from animals.  It’s pretty hard-core.  So that means that eggs, dairy, and honey are out.  Yes, even bees count as animals.   That meant no more pizza, no more omelettes, no more of Grandma’ Vera’s nutloaf or Grandma Kay’s potato gratin.  Not to mention no more delicious cheese and crackers.  But if I loved animals as much as I professed, surely I could make some adjustments.

Vegan friends of mine seemed to be doing okay.  If they could do it, how hard could it be?

 

This experiment began Christmas 2009.

 

 

Chakras – the practical side for the dubious

The chakras can seem a little…well, out there.  Whirling wheels of energy?  Rainbow light?  Huh?

But if we think about the body and its functions, the chakras do seem to match up pretty well to how we work.

The root chakra – muladhara – is at our pelvic floor and deals with earth, downward energy, and groundedness.  If we think of our hips and legs as what connects us to the earth and literally roots us, well, it makes sense.  If people are “ungrounded,” they tend to be light, frenetic, “in their heads,” and not connected to their lower body.

The second chakra below the navel – svadisthana – is a water center and deals with sexuality and creativity.  Sure, the kidneys and the sexual organs.  Makes sense, right?

The third chakra at the solar plexus – manipura – is a fire center and deals with our will power, transformation, and heat.  Sure, the stomach, digestion, core power, the adrenals.  Hmmm, things are still matching up….

The fourth chakra, anahata, is our heart center and deals with our relationship to ourselve and other and our capacity for compassion.  Anyone who’s had a broken heart has probably had that terrible “heavy-heartedness” or collapsed feeling in the chest.  Similary, “open-hearted” people often meet the world with a physically expanded chest.  Sensibly, the element of this chakra is air, which relates to the lungs and heart.

The fifth chakra in the throat, vishuddha, deals with space and communication.  Literally the home of our vocal cords, this chakra’s energy reflects our capacity for self-expression.

The sixth chakra at our forehead, ajna, relates to our ability to visualize.  We are entering into the land of imagination and are leaving the world of physical sensation.  Not surprisingly these final two chakras have to do with the higher functions of our mind.

The seventh chakra at the crown of our head, sahasrara, is the least physical – the furthest away from our feet – and involves self-realization and our connection to a higher power.    Whether we think of this connection as relating to a higher spirit or Heaven, we usually relate spiritual expression to something “above” or “beyond”.  Not unusual then, to find the home of this chakra at the highest point in the body.

Though at first the chakras can seem esoteric, some of these practical connections between the individual chakras and our physical body may give us pause.  Here are things that make you go “hmmmmm….”  If some of these parallels pique your interest, check out one of my favorite books: “Eastern Body, Western Mind” by Anodea Judith.  She offers fascinating correlations between developmental psychology, jungian archetypse, and the chakra system.

Clearing the Windshield

Our ego is like a sheet of glass that exists between the world and our mind.  As information from the world filters through our senses, it passes through our ego on its way to our conscious thought.  We screen though everything we perceive: “I like this because I did something like it before and that was good,” “This has made me look bad in the past,” or “This reminds me of the time…”.  Whether we’re aware of it or not, our mind is continually making lightning quick assessments based on previous experiences in order to organize ourselves in the world.

Through the years, the sheet of glass begins to get a little, well, dirty.  Our experiences, both positive and negative, begin to form a film over the glass that distorts the way that we perceive our environment.  As these mis-perceptions get confirmed over the months and years, we soon have a good ol’ crusty cake of samsara baked over our plate of glass.  Like a windshield that has endured a lengthy road trip, our glass has become overlaid with the splatters of past experiences.  Soon we aren’t able to see through the glass anymore at all!   Instead, we’re just acting out based on previous experiences.  We’re sleepwalking.

Now, our mind is designed to draw the line between cause and effect; it’s one of those nice things it does that keeps us safe.  (Who wouldn’t want to remember that the stove is hot after burning themselves once?)  But our mind sometimes is indiscriminate or can get too good at its job, and begins to draw lines of cause and effect that aren’t really useful to us.  Instead of keeping us safe and aware, our mind traps us in narrow lines of expectation.

Part of our work in our yoga practice is to PRACTICE freeing ourselves from expectation.  I’m emphasizing the word practice here because it’s really okay if we’re not good at it.  By actively letting go of expectation, we can start to clean off our nasty, cluttered windshield.  We can begin to perceive the world as it is – not as how we expect.

In your yoga practice this week, can you dare to not know what will happen?  Dare to surprise yourself?  By undoing expectation, we can discover that there is a wealth of feeling, sensation, and intuition that we may been neglecting.  The world will literally look and feel different.

Be patient with yourself and keep clearing off your windshield.  Soon, who knows?  You may even get that new car smell.

Aum Shanti Meditation – from Alan Finger

Shanti, of course, is the Sanksrit word for peace. (The tradition of reciting “shanti, shanti, shanti” 3 times reflects the trinary nature of existence – – the relationship of peace within yourself, peace between you and others, and peace throughout the universe. Buddhists also refer to the Threefold peace of the body, mind and speech). Aum, or Om, is perhaps the most commonly-known Sanskrit mantra, but it has so many significances an entire newsletter might not address them all! However, a few insights follow…

The simplicity of Aum is married to its complexity and its fundamental importance. It is considered the primary sound of the universe, the essential sound of consciousness or creation. Thus in vibrating our bodies and consciousness to Aum, we are aligning ourselves with the divine essence of the universe!

Written and chanted as A-U-M, the mantra again represents a trinity: that of the energies of creation, sustenance and destruction that together bind the universe together. These are sometimes represented by the Hindu deities Brahma (A = Creation), Vishnu (U = Sustenance) and Shiva (M = Destruction or Transcendance). (See below for a wonderful illustration of this representation!) Other trinities for the A-U-M include body-mind-spirit, or self-personal world-universe… there are many possible concordances.

To deeply experience the power of this simple mantra, sit comfortably in your usual meditation seat. Begin by simply working with A-U-M. As you chant aloud, resonate each sound for several seconds before moving to the next sound: Ah…. Oh…. Mm. Notice where you feel the vibrations of each sound in your body. Sense the “Ahh” emanating from the base of your body, vibrating and cleansing the root and belly. Sense the “Ohh” purifying your heart center and throat. Feel the “Mmm” resonating throughout your face and skull to the crown of your head. Repeat aloud at least six times.

Now, repeat the path of A-U-M, but repeat the mantra sounds silently, and feel the same internal vibrations. As you move to this more subtle layer of sensing the mantra, its purifying abilities move more deeply from the physical into the subtle body, releasing the emotions and burdens of the lower self. As this release occurs, the central channel of consciousness is opened and the jiva, your individual spirit, is freed to reunite with paramatman, the source of divine love and inspiration.

Now allow the A-U-M to combine into Aum, and feel you are receiving the divine light of Paramatman, the universe, through that central channel, from the crown of your head, flowing down into your heart, the seat of your jiva, your unique spirit, and into your body.

As you tune in to your breath, let the inhale carry this light down into the center of your body. Begin to let the exhale release from your heart center. Feel on this release the sound of Shanti, peace. As this cycle of inhale and exhale continues, you draw in the inspiration and unconditional love of the universe, filtering it through your unique essence and sending it back out into the world.

You might direct this powerful vibration of peace anywhere you’re inspired to: from your loved ones, to those in need, to places of conflict anywhere in the world. This simple, powerful practice reconnects you to the love, peace and divine oneness within your own heart and throughout the universe.

Alan Finger

Hum-Sa Kriya – Alan Finger

This meditation was one of the first that I learned from my teacher Alan Finger. It is a beautiful way to calm and still the mind and connect to the energy of your body.

The Hum-Sa Kriya is part of the “Ishta Diksha.”

Diksha, meaning “initiation,” is the physical transference of divine energy directly into the brain, which allows for enlightenment. You become free from the limitations and the conditioning of the mind and are released from unnecessary suffering.
Practiced daily, these techniques will tune your mind into a Higher source of personal power that will educate, inspire, and enliven every moment of your living.

The Hum-Sa Kriya directs consciousness to the spinal column, the central cord of intelligence and awareness, and the central channel of energy in the body. The result of this focus is the creation of an alpha rhythm in the brain. Alpha is the scientific term for the brain state of relaxed alertness and accelerated learning- the mind is peaceful but aware and perceptive of its surroundings. It is known to be incredibly healing and revitalizing to the mind and body.

1. Set a small timer for 18 minutes, but don’t press start just yet. Do at least six rounds of Nadi Shodana Pranayama (alternate nostril breathing).

2. If you can, keep your eyes closed, but press the start button on your timer. Bring your focus back to the breath. Whenever you breathe in, silently visualize and hear the sound “Hum” going up the spine from the base of your tail bone to the space between your eyebrows. And whenever you breathe out, use the sound “Sa” down the spine and try to feel the energy move from the mid-brain down to the base of the spine.
Very important: Do not force the breathing.
On your inhalation, visualize a white ball of light lifting up your spine and into the middle of your brain, and on your exhalation, visualize the ball of light slowly floating down your spine back to the base.

3. Repeat this movement. On the inhalation “Hum” up the spine and on the exhalation. “Sa” down to the base.
This focus and repetition brings you deeper and deeper into the center of consciousness, revealing the true nature who you really are.
You’ll notice that in time, your breath slowly becomes smoother. Eventually pauses will appear, moments in between breaths where there’s just a pause and no need to breathe. This is the point at which a sense of just floating in pure bliss occurs.

4. Stay in this place until the timer sounds. When that happens, gently silence the alarm, and come back to sitting. Let yourself take about six or so full deep breaths. Gently open your eyes. Smile. You’ve taken one more step on the journey to Self.

Namaste.
Alan Finger