Remembering How to See

Last Thursday evening, I attended a talk by Reginald Ray, founder of Dharma Ocean and tantric buddhist practitioner.
He spoke about the intimacy and the power (and terror) of really Seeing another person.

What is Seeing?  It’s when we strip away the filters through which we most often see the world and take the time and space to witness what is actually before us.  Usually we half-ass our seeing.  I look at my partner, but what I’m really seeing is what I expect to.  I impose upon him everything that I think a partner is, or should be, or what my own expectations are.  I will frequently assume that I understand a situation or person without actually taking the time to see and hear them.  How many times have I been caught up short in an argument, saying, “I didn’t know you felt/thought that way!”

Seeing – and then allowing ourselves to be seen – is actually terrifying.  As an acting instructor, one of my favorite exercises is to have people simply enter the room and stand in front of the group.  And wait.  And stand.  And wait.  And do nothing.  Because – as an audience – we are actually Seeing them, they are feeling the intensity of being Seen. And because they’ve been asked to simply be there and do nothing, there is no distraction available but to simply endure it.  It’s a terrifying and liberating experience.  Terrifying because we feel vulnerable, but also liberating because we can realize in that moment how powerful Seeing actually is.

When we really take the time to See and Be Seen, it is amazing to notice how quickly our defenses can rise.  Even with our closest friends and partners, how much do we hide?  How much do we resist intimacy?

After Reggie’s talk, I had tea with my friend Vicki in the library’s atrium.  As we chatted, a homeless man came up and started to talk to us.  His name was Norman.  And as he spoke to us, I tried to SEE him.  Rather than scuttle away or assume that he wanted something from me, I just took some time to see him for who he was and what he was doing.  I found out that Norman wasn’t scary, although he was pretty pretty drunk.  This previously invisible man became visible.

This week, I’ve been practicing Seeing People.  Seeing my waitresses, the woman behind the counter at the visa office, the grocery attendant.  My friends, my lover.  People BLOSSOM with being Seen.  They light up like plants in sunlight.  Creating the space to see another person  reveals our underlying human connection.  Time slows down.  We relax.  Common ground rather than difference is discovered.

When we practice yoga, or when we meditate, we can practice Seeing ourselves.  Can you give ourselves the space to be – without judgment, just with presence and compassion?

Sankalpa – a New Year’s Meditation

This meditation comes by way of Rachel Zinman, a stunning ISHTA teacher in Australia.
My favorite teacher and Mentor Alan Finger always recommends the Sankalpa Meditation as a great way to start the New Year. He says that a Sankalpa- setting an intention for your self is different to a New Years resolution. A resolution is something we make with our conscious mind where as a Sankalpa is a seed that can’t help but grow in the ground of our unconscious. Just recently Swami Paramahansa Satyananda- one of the great yogis and teachers of our time took Mahasamadhi. His Sankalpa is a touching reminder of how important it is to face everything with an open heart. you can click here to read Satyanandas Sankalpa

Instructions for the Sankalpa meditation:

1. Start with  a few rounds of alternate nostril breaths to withdraw the senses. If you don’t know this technique you can simply close your eyes and observe your breath for a few moments.
2.Visualize writing your intention in your own handwriting on the blue screen of your mind ( let the intention arise with out prejudgement)
3.Chant your intention as a mantra at your third eye,  chant it in the throat, chant it at the heart, the solar plexus, the pubic bone and then root it right down into the pelvic floor.  Imagine your intention has roots and feel them sinking into the earth.
4. next  see your Sankalpa as a plant beginning to grow- you can let go of the word here and sense it more as an energy.
5. feel it as a tender shoot in the area just behind the pubic bone, feel it receiving the warmth of the sun in your solar plexus area and then see it as a beautiful flower blossoming in your heart
And then radiate that beauty up through your throat and into the crown.
6. You can practice this meditation for 40 days. In my own experience its a profound and healing way to start  every year and my intentions always seem to come to fruition!

Chakras – the practical side for the dubious

The chakras can seem a little…well, out there.  Whirling wheels of energy?  Rainbow light?  Huh?

But if we think about the body and its functions, the chakras do seem to match up pretty well to how we work.

The root chakra – muladhara – is at our pelvic floor and deals with earth, downward energy, and groundedness.  If we think of our hips and legs as what connects us to the earth and literally roots us, well, it makes sense.  If people are “ungrounded,” they tend to be light, frenetic, “in their heads,” and not connected to their lower body.

The second chakra below the navel – svadisthana – is a water center and deals with sexuality and creativity.  Sure, the kidneys and the sexual organs.  Makes sense, right?

The third chakra at the solar plexus – manipura – is a fire center and deals with our will power, transformation, and heat.  Sure, the stomach, digestion, core power, the adrenals.  Hmmm, things are still matching up….

The fourth chakra, anahata, is our heart center and deals with our relationship to ourselve and other and our capacity for compassion.  Anyone who’s had a broken heart has probably had that terrible “heavy-heartedness” or collapsed feeling in the chest.  Similary, “open-hearted” people often meet the world with a physically expanded chest.  Sensibly, the element of this chakra is air, which relates to the lungs and heart.

The fifth chakra in the throat, vishuddha, deals with space and communication.  Literally the home of our vocal cords, this chakra’s energy reflects our capacity for self-expression.

The sixth chakra at our forehead, ajna, relates to our ability to visualize.  We are entering into the land of imagination and are leaving the world of physical sensation.  Not surprisingly these final two chakras have to do with the higher functions of our mind.

The seventh chakra at the crown of our head, sahasrara, is the least physical – the furthest away from our feet – and involves self-realization and our connection to a higher power.    Whether we think of this connection as relating to a higher spirit or Heaven, we usually relate spiritual expression to something “above” or “beyond”.  Not unusual then, to find the home of this chakra at the highest point in the body.

Though at first the chakras can seem esoteric, some of these practical connections between the individual chakras and our physical body may give us pause.  Here are things that make you go “hmmmmm….”  If some of these parallels pique your interest, check out one of my favorite books: “Eastern Body, Western Mind” by Anodea Judith.  She offers fascinating correlations between developmental psychology, jungian archetypse, and the chakra system.

Clearing the Windshield

Our ego is like a sheet of glass that exists between the world and our mind.  As information from the world filters through our senses, it passes through our ego on its way to our conscious thought.  We screen though everything we perceive: “I like this because I did something like it before and that was good,” “This has made me look bad in the past,” or “This reminds me of the time…”.  Whether we’re aware of it or not, our mind is continually making lightning quick assessments based on previous experiences in order to organize ourselves in the world.

Through the years, the sheet of glass begins to get a little, well, dirty.  Our experiences, both positive and negative, begin to form a film over the glass that distorts the way that we perceive our environment.  As these mis-perceptions get confirmed over the months and years, we soon have a good ol’ crusty cake of samsara baked over our plate of glass.  Like a windshield that has endured a lengthy road trip, our glass has become overlaid with the splatters of past experiences.  Soon we aren’t able to see through the glass anymore at all!   Instead, we’re just acting out based on previous experiences.  We’re sleepwalking.

Now, our mind is designed to draw the line between cause and effect; it’s one of those nice things it does that keeps us safe.  (Who wouldn’t want to remember that the stove is hot after burning themselves once?)  But our mind sometimes is indiscriminate or can get too good at its job, and begins to draw lines of cause and effect that aren’t really useful to us.  Instead of keeping us safe and aware, our mind traps us in narrow lines of expectation.

Part of our work in our yoga practice is to PRACTICE freeing ourselves from expectation.  I’m emphasizing the word practice here because it’s really okay if we’re not good at it.  By actively letting go of expectation, we can start to clean off our nasty, cluttered windshield.  We can begin to perceive the world as it is – not as how we expect.

In your yoga practice this week, can you dare to not know what will happen?  Dare to surprise yourself?  By undoing expectation, we can discover that there is a wealth of feeling, sensation, and intuition that we may been neglecting.  The world will literally look and feel different.

Be patient with yourself and keep clearing off your windshield.  Soon, who knows?  You may even get that new car smell.

Hum-Sa Kriya – Alan Finger

This meditation was one of the first that I learned from my teacher Alan Finger. It is a beautiful way to calm and still the mind and connect to the energy of your body.

The Hum-Sa Kriya is part of the “Ishta Diksha.”

Diksha, meaning “initiation,” is the physical transference of divine energy directly into the brain, which allows for enlightenment. You become free from the limitations and the conditioning of the mind and are released from unnecessary suffering.
Practiced daily, these techniques will tune your mind into a Higher source of personal power that will educate, inspire, and enliven every moment of your living.

The Hum-Sa Kriya directs consciousness to the spinal column, the central cord of intelligence and awareness, and the central channel of energy in the body. The result of this focus is the creation of an alpha rhythm in the brain. Alpha is the scientific term for the brain state of relaxed alertness and accelerated learning- the mind is peaceful but aware and perceptive of its surroundings. It is known to be incredibly healing and revitalizing to the mind and body.

1. Set a small timer for 18 minutes, but don’t press start just yet. Do at least six rounds of Nadi Shodana Pranayama (alternate nostril breathing).

2. If you can, keep your eyes closed, but press the start button on your timer. Bring your focus back to the breath. Whenever you breathe in, silently visualize and hear the sound “Hum” going up the spine from the base of your tail bone to the space between your eyebrows. And whenever you breathe out, use the sound “Sa” down the spine and try to feel the energy move from the mid-brain down to the base of the spine.
Very important: Do not force the breathing.
On your inhalation, visualize a white ball of light lifting up your spine and into the middle of your brain, and on your exhalation, visualize the ball of light slowly floating down your spine back to the base.

3. Repeat this movement. On the inhalation “Hum” up the spine and on the exhalation. “Sa” down to the base.
This focus and repetition brings you deeper and deeper into the center of consciousness, revealing the true nature who you really are.
You’ll notice that in time, your breath slowly becomes smoother. Eventually pauses will appear, moments in between breaths where there’s just a pause and no need to breathe. This is the point at which a sense of just floating in pure bliss occurs.

4. Stay in this place until the timer sounds. When that happens, gently silence the alarm, and come back to sitting. Let yourself take about six or so full deep breaths. Gently open your eyes. Smile. You’ve taken one more step on the journey to Self.

Namaste.
Alan Finger

Mark Whitwell – What is yoga?

What is yoga? In this ten-minute segment, Mark – with his typical directness and humor – clarifies the purpose of yoga and exhorts us to participate with authenticity and intimacy in our own lives. I have studied with Mark on several occasions in New York and in Vancouver and always find his clarity and inclusiveness inspiring.

“Yoga is your direct participation
absorption in the given wonder
the extreme intelligence of life
that is of course in every person
every creature
you can do this
it’s not a search
it’s not to use the mind
it’s not to use the body to try to get somewhere
as if you are not “Somewhere”
as if you are not the full blown wonder of life
dependent on a vast process
for your own existence
so there is a right yoga for you
you learn to do that yoga
and then you too can enjoy this direct absorption
participation in the nurturing force that is life already given to you
you are completely loved
completely loved
you are completely cared for
everybody is completely loved
completely cared for
even if the social conditions are suggesting otherwise
even if your mind doesn’t recognize it
by doing your yoga practice on a daily basis
actually and naturally
not obsessively
you too can enjoy this direct absorption
in the wonder that is this life
in all conditions of life including the unseen source
which is responsible for all this appearance here
please enjoy your yoga
YOU ARE HERE NOW

This is a simple argument.
It is easier than easy.
So simple, we seldom speak of it and do not grasp it.
But once seen, it is obvious
and we feel the stark reality of our life,
unmediated by the mind of doubt.

The idea of human imperfection
that is deeply ingrained in the social mind,
in old scientific and religious thinking
blinds us to the perfection that is already in us,
as us, as Life itself, as Nature “her”self.

We are not separate;
we cannot be separate from Nature,
which sustains us in a vast interdependence with everything.

The universe comes perfectly
and is awesome in its integration and infinite existence.
It is our natural state.

Our mission and passion
is to provide the spiritual
and healing powers of yoga
to all who recognize the ancient wisdom
and the wisdom of your own body and mind.”

~Mark’s Hridaya Yoga Sutra describes the spirit of Yoga of Heart: the Healing Power of Intimate Connection
More Heart of Yoga.

Stroke of Insight – Jill Bolte Taylor

This astounding video recounts neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor’s experience of having a stroke. Not only is she able to contextualize the experience from a medical perspective, but she discovers that bliss may be a simple matter of “stepping to the right.” I also highly recommend her book, where she candidly offers her experience of recovery. A definite must for anyone with loved ones who have had a stroke. Also, In the process of recovery, she discovers that she has the power to reprogram her habitual patterns in order to make better choices. And isn’t that what yoga is all about?

Live from New York with Chrissy Carter: Gayatri Mantra

On my latest trip to New York City, I had the privilege of assisting Chrissy Carter in the Yoga Works Teacher Training. In addition to being a superb instructor, Chrissy has a gorgeous voice. On the last day of the training, we recorded a few of her favorite chants, which I later converted into a duet by adding a harmony line. The sounds of midtown Manhattan in the background add their own flavor. Gayatri Mantra with Chrissy Carter

Om Shanti

Shanti means “peace.” This chant feels full of yearning and sadness to me, as most of us are when we’re struggling to find shanti. Om Shanti

Ajna Chakra: Light

Ajna Chakra, located at the third eye center, opens us to element of light.  In addition to literally seeing, this chakra draws us into the power of visualization, imagination, and abstraction.  We literally connect to a higher frequency (Vishuddha was the frequency of sound, Ajna of light) and our experience moves further beyond the tangible plane.

Suddenly, our world is much larger.  We can use the power of our imagination to understand experiences beyond our own.  Though the understanding of images and words, we can visualize our place in a greater context. Our sight is both external and internal. The sixth chakra opens us to the world of intuition, where we are assimilating information more rapidly than our conscious mind may process. We begin to learn to trust our sixth sense.

The power to visualize is a powerful tool that can expand or limit our consciousness.  While our imagination can set us free to imagine possibilities beyond our immediate experience, we can also impose mental boundaries on ourselves that prevent us from moving into our potential.  Discernment in the sixth chakra is the power to separate vision from illusion. As Anodea Judith writes, “Vision leads us forward and illusion holds us back. A vision is a possibility, a goal to inspire us, constantly changing and evolving. We know a vision isn’t real, and yet we believe in its potential. An illusion tends to be held as certainly and forced into place – something we believe is real and unchangeable. An illusion binds the energy; a vision consciously directs it.”

Exercise: Practice discernment between vision and illusion. Do you impose limits on yourself that have no basis in reality? Can you replace these assumptions with a visualization that pulls your more firmly into your real potential?

Om Nama Shivaya

I learned this chant while on a yoga retreat from my friend Julie Blumenthal, who has the most marvelous voice.  I created the hamony line myself.  This was recorded in a bathroom with kick ass acoustics.  Om Nama Shivaya

Om Guru

Guru – the dispeller of darkness.  It’s a wonderful song for the wintery time of year! I originally sang this song with the musical group, Circle of Soul in New York City. I learned both the melody and harmony line with these fantastic ladies. Om Guru

Vishuddha Chakra: Space

The link from the heart chakra to the more etheric upper chakras, Vishuddha (the throat chakra) is the center of conscious communication.  Like the second chakra, Vishuddha is a creative nexus.  However, unlike the unconscious, earthy, and sensuous energy of Svadisthana, Vishuddha’s creativity is connected to our higher consciousness.  Through its power, we literally express and identify ourselves in relationship to the outside world.  We choose how to allow our energy to impact others, and use our voice to express our boundaries, desires, and needs.

Very pragmatically, we can sometimes feel as if we’ve “lost our voice” when there is a disconnect between our experience and our ability to communicate our needs.  At other times, it is through communicating that we actually realize our own experience.  For example, it is common to “hold it together” until someone asks us to communicate our experience.  This act of articulating facilitates the integration of the experience, and causes us to “break down” or release the emotional energy.

A well-balanced throat chakra allows for an equilibrium between expression and listening.  The element of Vishuddha is space, and it is in the openness and potential of this space that exchange can occur.  Rather than engulf our listeners in a deluge of conversation or retreating into a silent shell, we allow for a meaningful sharing of energy and ideas.  The powerful, unconscious energies of the lower chakras (our emotion and our ego) are refined and processed as we develop our capacity to communicate our personal experience with others.

Our lives are in continual, creative evolution.  Through Vishuddha, we enhance our capacity to filter and share our experience with others.

Exercise: Notice your habits in conversation.  Do you tend to dominate conversation, or retreat and stay silent?  Do you fall into comfortable and disingenuous patter because it seems easy?  Is there a better personal balance for you that you might find in increasing your capacity for conscious communication with others?

Anahata Chakra: Air

What more appropriate chakra to explore on Valentine’s Week than the heart chakra?

We are all familiar with the sensations of the heart.  Almost everyone can relate when someone says that they feel ”light-hearted” or that they have a “heavy heart.”  In this way, the sensations of the heart chakra are some of the most accessible of the system.

At the heart, we reach the very center of the chakra system.  Perfectly balanced between the upper and lower chakras, anahata is the chakra guiding relationships, compassion, and emotional well-being.  It is in the heart that the intuition of the body and the wisdom of the spirit come into manifestation.

While the heart chakra usually is thought to be outer directed (compassion to others), it is also the place where we come into deeper and more harmonious relationship with ourselves.  Here we resolve the myriad of relationships within different (and frequently contradicting) aspects our own life. Only through the compassion and spaciousness of love can we fully accept and integrate the lost or shadowed parts of our history and personality.  When we are able to accept ourselves fully, then we can also begin to accept others fully, without being triggered by the remembrance of fragmented parts of ourselves.

As you practice heart-opening, notice if any judgments or restrictive sensations arise.  Practice nurturing a space of radical self-acceptance and expansion.  Utilize the surrender and freedom of the inhalation to physical space for compassion and integration.

Manipura Chakra: Fire

Manipura Chakra is the seat of the ego and self-definition.  Its element is fire and it the seat of the ego.  Too much fire breeds anger, aggression, over-assertion; too little fire and we are not able to create boundaries, self-determine, or speak our minds.

A healthy third chakra is marked by empowerment.  When we are self-empowered, we do not need to dominate in order to fill the gap.  Self-empowerment leads to autonomy and personal responsibility, which are key in initiating conscious transformation.  When we honor the power within us, we can freely make decisions that honor our own personal truth.  Rather than internalizing the voices of our parents, peers, and culture, we give ourself the power to question, re-determine, and transform.

To access manipura chakra, open yourself to the fire of your own practice.  Through heat, we begin to safely shift and transform the physical body.  Through twists and navel focused asana like bakasana, we access the power of the core.  Connection to the stability of the core anchors us in our own body.  From the core, we discover the fantastic movement of radiation and contraction.  Energy moves from the center out, just as energy draws into the center.  This dynamic flow and pulsation is a reflection of the greater movements of our life: learning what to let in, learning what to let go. The constant ebb and flow keeps us alive, invigorated, open to new ideas, and anchored in what we choose to keep.

Explore the fire of your practice.  Become attuned to your relationship to your own personal power.  Can you relish responsibility without guilt or shame?  Can you risk transformation in order to connect to a deeper, more authentic  expression of your self?

Svadisthana Chakra: Water

As we move into the second chakra, life starts getting juicy.  Now that our primal survival needs have been addressed, we move into the realm of feelings, pleasure, creativity, and sexuality.

To paraphrase Anodea Judith, we are creating a container in the first chakra…and in the second chakra we fill this container with fluid and movement.  This movement of the second chakra takes us into the world of balance and grace.  When can we go too far?  When are we too stuck?

In our culture, there is frequently a dismissal of pleasure in favor of asceticism and work. In reclaiming the second chakra, we validate the needs of our pleasure body and emotional body.  When these centers are fed, they reward us with deep insight, intuition, and embodiment.  Part of being fully alive is to appreciate the magnificence of our own capacity for sensuality and pleasure.  Whether we are sipping a cup of tea or feeling the sunshine on our face (or in Vancouver, we are frequently feeling the rain), we are connecting to a primal deliciousness.  In my own experience, finding this connection allows me to honor my body’s needs: to rest when I’m tired, eat nourishing foods, and practice yoga from a place of joy rather than obligation.

In your yoga practice, see if you can connect to the yumminess of movement. Close your eyes and feel the practice from the inside out.  Rather than worrying about what the posture looks like, see if you can sense it from within.  Give yourself the freedom to relish your body.  Even in “still” poses, there is always a divine movement.  Our breath, our blood…we are in constant fluid motion.

Re-energizing the second chakra doesn’t take much and a little attention can reap enormous rewards.  Simply pause a few times a day to connect to your senses.  Feel the carpet under your toes, enjoy the taste of your food, stretch deliciously.   Tasting the little pleasures of your life will create spaciousness for presence and increase your capacity for juicy joy.

Muladhara Chakra: Earth

Can we be strong without being rigid?  Can we own our own space without being overbearing?  Is our relationship with our body healthy?

These are just a few of the issues encompassed by our first chakra. Located at the base of the spine, muladhara chakra is the “root” of the chakra system.  Like the foundation of a house, the health of this chakra affects all the others above it.    Anodea Judith describes the first chakra as reflecting our “right to be here,” which includes our “right to establish individuality” and our  right to take care of ourselves” (Eastern Body, Western Mind).

The element of the muladhara chakra is earth and the chakra resonates with the part of ourselves that solid and physical.  Judith estimates the development of this chakra during the first year of life, in which we first learn if we can trust the outer world to meet our essential needs.  This primal experience shapes our future interactions with our environment:  do we have enough to sustain us without hoarding?   On a more psychological level, can we allow ourselves to take up space  without becoming impermeable?

In our asana practice, can we be strong without becoming rigid?

As we practice, we can connect to the strength of the earth through any part of our body that is connected to the ground. As we press into the earth, the strength of the earth radiates back into our muscles and bones.  In standing poses, the feet and legs to draw up the strength of the earth into the core of our body.  In downdog, uttanasana, and chaturanga, our hands become like a second pair of feet, anchoring us into the solid girth of the planet.  Explore becoming more animal in your practice.  Get low to the earth and play with the weight and rebound of gravity.  And as you connect to the deep stability and safety of the ground, can you trust enough to let go of any hard edges?

When you feel spacey or ungrounded, explore some slow, steady standing poses like Warrior II or chair that work the hips and legs…or simply lay in savasana for a few minutes and give the floor your weight.  As you connect to earth, be reminded that you are of the earth.  Embrace your right to be here.

Fanning the Inner Fire

The increasing darkness of winter is an invitation to move more deeply into our shadow selves.  We can hunker down, get internal, and examine what pieces of ourselves no longer serve.  It is time to clear out space and let go of old habits and limiting patterns, so that when the sun begins to come back, we have room to create anew.

To clear out the old, we begin with detoxification.  Manipura chakra is the center of willpower and is associated with the fire element.  The solar plexus is also the seat of digestion and the digestive fires, which can burn out the restrictions of energy at the base.  As we inhale, we fan the flames down to these blockages.  The exhalation reinforces uddiyana bandha and mula bandha, which draw these blocks up into the fire to be purified.  Thus, the power of the breath and the fire of our bodies work together to unleash our energetic potential.

While physical movements such as sun salutations and standing poses certainly heat our bodies, it is the the effort to focus and our will to concentrate that fans the flames.   Moving into twists to tone the abdomen and balancing poses to strengthen the mind, we purify the physical and energetic body simultaneously  – burning away dis-ease and attachment.

In the darkness of winter, we create our own internal sun.